Lisa's Wedding

We open with two knights battling it out and a renaissance fair, one knight lifts up his helmet, its FLANDERS.

FLANDERS: Zounds! I did thee mightily smitely.

The audience applauds; MARGE, BART and MAGGIE are there. BART looks bored.

FLANDERS: Zounds is a renaissance English word short for "God's Wounds" but "smitely," that's pure Flanders.

The other knight who's badly wounded lifts up his helmet, its SMITHERS.

SMITHERS: Please call a doctor.

Cut to BART.

BART: Oh. These renaissance fairs are so boring.
MARGE: Oh really? Did you see the loom?

MARGE shows him a loom.

MARGE: I took loom in high school.

MARGE hands MAGGIE over to BART. And starts weaving. She weaves "Hi, Bart. I'm weaving on a loom." BART doesn't look too impressed.

BART: Meh.

We cut to HOMER who is following a rotating pig on a spit; it is being spun by LUNCHLADY DORIS.

LUNCHLADY DORIS: Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze.
HOMER: Can I have some?
LUNCHLADY DORIS: Mine ears are open only to the pleas of those who speak ye old English.

HOMER kneels down in front of LUNCHLADY DORIS.

HOMER: Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon that I might sup on suckling pig this noon.

As HOMER walks away he has the pig in his hands, he eats and walks. LISA is now with him.

HOMER: Oh. I've eaten eight different meats. I'm a true renaissance man.

HOMER gorges on the pig's leg.

LISA: I'll go to the first aid tent and tell them to plug in ye old stomach pump.

LISA walks away; she comes across CHIEF WIGGUM's tent.

WIGGUM: Alight your gaze on yonder fabled beasts of yore.

LISA and CHIEF WIGGUM walk in.

WIGGUM: Behold the rarest of the rare the mythological two headed hound, born with only one head.

CHIEF WIGGUM shows LISA a dog.

WIGGUM: Ohh. And here, out the mists of history, the legendary Esquilax, A horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.

The rabbit jumps out of the box and starts jumping away as LISA chases after it.

WIGGUM: Oh. It's galloping away.
LISA: Here bunny-bunny. Here, bunny.
WIGGUM: Here Esquilax.

LISA follows the bunny to a darker scarier part of the woods. There she sees a tent and she walks in.

FORTUNETELLER: I've been waiting for you, Lisa.
LISA: How did you know my name?
FORTUNETELLER: Your name tag.

LISA looks at her dress, there's a nametag that says "Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"

FORTUNE TELLER: Would you like to know your future?
LISA: <Giggle> Sorry, I don't believe in fortune telling. I should go.

As LISA goes to leave...

FORTUNE TELLER: What's your hurry? Bart, Maggie and Marge are at the joust. And Homer is heckling the puppet show.

LISA turns around

LISA: Wow you can see into the... present...
FORTUNE TELLER: Now, we'll see what the future holds.

The FORTUNETELLER lays down the death card.

LISA: <Gulp> The death card?

FORTUNETELLER: No, that's good. It means transition, change.

The FORTUNETELLER lays down the Happy Squirrel card.

LISA: Oh that's cute.
FORTUNETELLER: <GASP> The Happy Squirrel!
LISA: That's bad?
FORTUNETELLER: Possibly, the cards are vague and mysterious. They seem to be revealing the story of your first love. Do you want me to continue?
LISA: I guess so.
FORUTNETELLER: It's coming to me... Yes. I see an eastern university in the year 2010. The world has become a very different place.

Dissolve into the Future. We see several tin men walk by, like robots, then a lion and a scarecrow, they pass a sign reading "Wizard of Oz" Auditions today" Two normal students walk by.

STUDENT: I can't wait to see that play.

At the front door, a STUDENT notices that one of the trees is flickering; he kicks its base, which reads "In memory of a real tree" coming down the stairs is Future LISA, wearing white past the ankle shoes, blue jeans, and a pink sweater, her hair is combed back, LISA doesn't have her pearls on, LISA strokes her hair, and goes to the water fountain for a drink, but she hits heads with HUGH PARKFIELD.

LISA & HUGH: Hey watch it.

HUGH takes a quick drink and walks away.

LISA: That man is instantly the most annoying person I've ever met. <Grrr> A soy-based snack will calm me down.

Inside, HUGH is at a Soy Pop vending machine, he inserts a card and a door opens, he takes the last soy pop and walks away. LISA approaches with her card out ready to insert into the machine.

LISA: <Growls>

At the lift heading to the library, HUGH enters the lift and it goes up. LISA arrives.

LISA: Agh! Him again.

LISA takes the stairs.

In the library, LISA is out of breath, she walks up to the CLERK.

LISA: Hello. I need Ecosystem of the Marsh, by Thompson.
CLERK: The last copy was just signed out by Hugh Parkfield, there he is.

She points to someone who looks a lot like HUGH from behind.

LISA: No. It couldn't be...

The guy turns around, and it's not HUGH, this guy as a mustache.

LISA: Phew...

HUGH gets up.

HUGH: Thanks for holding my book while I tied my shoe.
LISA: <Annoyed Grunt>!

We cut to HUGH reading the book, LISA approaches him.

LISA: That's the book I need. You'll probably take forever with it too.
HUGH: I can read faster than you.
LISA: I read at a 78th Grade Level.
HUGH: Right here!

HUGH slams the book down and both start reading at fast rates.

Its much later, dark actually, LISA and HUGH are still reading.

LISA: Finished this page?
HUGH: Ages ago.
LISA: <Grumbles>
HUGH: I'll get the dictionary.
LISA: Why?
HUGH: You'll see when you get there the word "Stochastic"
LISA: Pertaining to a process involving a randomly determined sequence of observations... Heh Heh Heh.

Suddenly HUGH and LISA start kissing.

The two library CLERKS, the woman from earlier and the guy that held HUGH's book are looking on.

CLERK: First, they hate each other. Now all of a sudden they love each other. It doesn't make any sense to me.
CLERK 2: Of course not. You're a robot.

The FEMALE CLERK starts to cry, then for no reason, her head melts.

At the movie theater, LISA and HUGH are walking out after seeing 40 classic films starring Jim Carrey.

HUGH: I've never met anyone who so understood the magic of Jim Carrey.
LISA: He can make you laugh with no more than a frantic flailing of his limbs.

In the Dr. and Mrs. Dre Hall, HUGH and LISA are in their dorm room.

HUGH: I can't believe how much we have in common, we're both studying the environment, we're utterly humorless about vegetarianism, and we both love the Rolling Stones.
LISA: Yes, not for their music but for their tireless efforts to preserve historic buildings.
HUGH: Lisa, I can't bear being apart all summer. Come back with me to Parkfield Manor.
LISA: I'd love to. Can we get vegetarian meals at your parents' house?
HUGH: Yes, we can Lisa.
LISA: That is good, coz eating animals is wrong.
HUGH: So very wrong.
LISA: When will the world learn?
HUGH: I don't know. I just don't know.

On a plane, LISA and HUGH look out the window.

LISA: I love these new planes.
HUGH: Yes. It's a good thing they re-evaluated those wacky old designs.

The plane looks like an old fashioned plane only with a lot more wings. In London we pass by Tower Bridge and Big Ben, which is flashing 12:00 like a VCR. At Parkfield Manor.

LISA: Beautiful dinnerware, Mrs. Parkfield.
MRS. PARKFIELD: Thank you, Lisa. They were made for the finest family in Britain.
MR. PARKFIELD: I don't know how we ended up with them.

Pan to LISA's brain.

LISA'S BRAIN: Uh-oh. Should I laugh? Was that dry British wit, or subtle self-pity? Ohhh... They're staring at me. Better respond.
LISA: <Nervous laugh>
MR. PARKFIELD: Oh. It's good to hear a boisterous American laugh.

LISA points to a painting.

LISA: And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I'd say 17th Century.
MRS. PARKFIELD: Actually, Lisa, its just Uncle Eldred.
ELDRED: I get my brain medicines from the National Heath.

In a field with a sunset.

LISA: This place is so enchanting, Hugh. I love it here.
HUGH: I wanted this to be perfect for you. I know Americans like everything to be fireworks.

Several fireworks go off, a message board lights up saying, "Lisa, will you do me the honor of giving me your hand in the holy tradition of matrimo" but it blows out. LISA looks puzzled.

HUGH: Oh blast.

He talks into his wrist watch.

HUGH: Go to plan B.

HUGH turns LISA's head, and two guys push out a donkey with a sign saying "Marry me" LISA quickly turns back to HUGH.

LISA: Yes, I will.

HUGH puts the engagement ring on LISA's finger. They kiss as the camera pans to the TWO GUYS behind the bush.

GUY: Isn't it wonderful, Master Hugh has found a true love?

BOTH GUYS start to cry, and their heads then melt for no reason.

The next day, in LISA and HUGH's room, LISA is at the picture-phone, she dials a few numbers, it turns out she was calling MARGE.

LISA: Hi, Mom.
MARGE: Lisa! Hello! How are you doing in England? Remember, an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer," and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"
LISA: Guess what. Hugh and I are getting married.

MARGE jumps up.

MARGE: All right! Lisa, that's wonderful. If only your father was still with us. <Pause> But he left for work a few minutes ago.
LISA: Mom, remember when I was little we'd always plan my dream wedding, and you always promised to... you know... keep dad from ruining it...

MARGE crosses her fingers.

MARGE: Oh, don't worry, honey. I guarantee your father will behave.
LISA: Mom, it's a picture phone.
MARGE: Oh, this? This? Oh, No. I just got a touch of the rheumatiz.
MARGE: Phew.
LISA: Mom, picture phone.

We see a high office block, we then cut to BART, he's talking to MARGE on his watch communicator.

BART: Hey mom. That's great news about Lisa. Well listen, it'd better get back to work.

We pan out, to see that BART is in a bulldozer for Down with Buildings Demolition Co.

BART: They're finally paying me for this.

As BART controls the levers and knobs.

BART: Oh yeah. ha ha.

At SNPP, which now has 4 cooling towers. Sector 7-C and 7-D are now powered by robots, we pass the conference room where, LENNY and CARL are.

CARL: Yes, but the internationally market is my focus.

We cross through to 7-G where HOMER is still at the same old spot. HOMER is on the phone to MARGE.

HOMER: Who-hoo. Oh Marge, that's great news.

MILHOUSE comes in.

MILHOUSE: Hey, hey, there with the personal calls, Simpson.
HOMER: Oh, but Mr. Milhouse, my little girls getting married.
MILHOUSE: Lisa? Oh... My one true love...

We flash back. In MILHOUSE's Car, he has acne, blue jacket, green t-shirt, and blue jeans on; LISA has a pink sleeved dress on, and purple earrings.

LISA: Its not you Milhouse, I just don't plan to ever get married.


Cut back to the year 2010.

MILHOUSE: I think I'll write your performance evaluation now Simpson.

As we pan across Evergreen Terrace, everyone's house looks different, except the Simpsons place, that's the same, only with a few wooden additions.

HOMER: Oh I've got to call everyone and tell them the good news.

HOMER picks up the phone, but it's in use.

HOMER: What the--?

HOMER yells up.

HOMER: Maggie, I need to use the phone.

But to MAGGIE's room and she doesn't look too impressed.

HOMER: Will that girl ever shut up?

HOMER hangs the phone up.

HOMER: Okay, Marge. I'll plan everything. We can have the reception at Moe's. Wait, why not have the whole wedding there. We'll do it on a Monday morning. There'll be fewer drunks.

MARGE: Homer, don't take this personally. But I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.

HOMER reads through the paper work.

HOMER: Whereas Homer Simpson.... <mumble>. Well, these seem to be in order. I'll be out back in the hammock.

HOMER walks out.

We cut to someone hold an invite to the wedding reading,

"Mr. and Mrs. Homer J. Simpson
the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter
Lisa Marie
Hugh St. John Alistair Parkfield
at the
Springfield Meadow
Sunday, One P.M., August 1, 2010."

It's SMITHERS who's holding the invite.

SMITHERS: Mr. Smithers plus guest. Well, there's only one person I'd want to bring.

SMITHERS opens a freezer container and pulls out a canister. It has MR. BURNS inside.

SMITHERS: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second we discover a cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back.

Addressing the scientists.

SMITHERS: How we doing boys?
FRINK: We'll we're up to 15.

In the school, PRINCIPAL SKINNER is looking at the same invite. He looks in through the door of MISS. HOOVER's class. TROY MCCLURE is doing the teaching on a huge TV Screen.

TROY MCCLURE: Now turn to the next problem, if you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much refreshed are you? You the red-head in the Chicago school system?
RED-HEAD: Pepsi?
TROY MCCLURE: Partial Credit.

SKINNER walks in.

SKINNER: We've been invited to the wedding of our only graduate to read at an adult level.
HOOVER: Hmm... It must be Lisa Simpson, because of course, Martin Prince perished in that science-fair explosion.

Panning down through the school, we see MARTIN

MARTIN: Not quite perished my lady love. Although somedays I wish I had.

At Springfield Airport, a cab pulls up to LISA and HUGH. Its run by Otto Cab co. Est. 2003. MAYOR QUIMBY is driving.

LISA: Hey, I remember you. Mayor Quimby right?
QUIMBY: Ah,Uh, Ah, No. Look at this license. I'm Mohamed Jafar.

OTTO appears on QUIMBY's car radio.

OTTO: Quimby, after this fare, get your indicted ass over to the Hudson convention center.
QUIMBY: I cut the ribbon at that convention center.
LISA: <Nervous Laugh> Just a couple more blocks to my house...

LISA pulls her face low and starts breathing heavily. HUGH starts rubbing her back.

HUGH: Lisa, darling, don't worry. I'm sure I'll get along with your family. You've so thoroughly prepared me for the worst, as long as they're not squatting in a ditch poking berries up their noses.
LISA: And if they are?

The car pulls around Evergreen Terrace, BART is on look out.

BART: Here they come. Raise the flag.

HOMER raises the Union Jack, MARGE and MAGGIE are there too. QUIMBY pulls over. The flag catches a bug zapper. LISA runs out and hugs MARGE, MAGGIE simply waves.

MARGE: Oh Lisa.
HOMER: Yo, Hugh. Here's a little bit of U.S. hospitality. What do you think of that.

HOMER and BART move out of the way, we see the Union Jack on fire. HUGH starts to cry.


Pointing to the flag. HOMER and BART scream. HOMER quickly lowers the flag, and both start stamping on it.

MARGE: Now throw compost on it.

HOMER and BART start to do so. The fire goes out.

HOMER: Phew.

HOMER picks up the flag and hands it to HUGH.

HOMER: Err... enjoy...

HUGH still with tears in his eyes...

HUGH: Oh... Still Warm...

LISA starts breathing heavily.

In the wooden attachment around the chimney.

HOMER: You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built.

LISA and HUGH walk in.

HOMER <TO LISA>: Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a window box

HOMER exits. LISA and HUGH hug.

LISA: Oh, Hugh, thank you. You've just been wonderful through this entire ordeal.
HUGH: Lisa, I love you so much. I'm willing to go through anything.

The floor below HUGH breaks. LISA looks through the floor.

LISA: Are you okay?

We look through the floor.

HUGH: I'm fine Lisa, fortunately, the compost heap broke my fall. Be a dear, run a bath.

At dinner, HOMER, BART and MAGGIE all eat like slobs, HUGH looks stunned.

MARGE: Homer, Bart, Maggie, company eating rules huh... HOMER: Oh right.

HOMER, MARGE, BART and MAGGIE start eating daintily.

BART: Anyway, Hugh, there's more to my life that just the wrecking ball. I also crunch Cars into cubes. And on the side, I promote local tough-man contests. Basically, I'm getting out all of my aggression till I go to law school.
HOMER: So, Hugh, have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uh... here's a good one, pull my finger.

Homer points at Hugh.

HUGH: <Laugh> Yes, we have that one in England too Mr. Simpson.
HOMER: <Angrily> I said, pull my finger.
LISA: Uh... Mom, we've got my wedding-dress fitting this afternoon. Maggie, if you're not doing anything why don't you come with us?

MAGGIE has her mouth full she goes to speak

MAGGIE: Uh... MARGE: Maggie, don't talk with your mouth full.

MAGGIE rolls her eyes.

HOMER: Me and Bart will take Hugh out on the town this afternoon.
LISA: Hugh should take it easy because of his fall.
HUGH: Oh, Lisa please, the only bruised in that fall was my spine, I'll be delighted.
HOMER: Great. There's only one thing I ask in return.
HUGH: Certainly.

In the car, HOMER is driving real fast. HUGH keeps looking scared, BART is cool in the back.

HOMER: So this driving on the left makes you feel more at home, huh, Hugh?

In MOE's on the TV they are watching the news.

KENT: And tonight, the following celebrities have been arrested

A scroll of names.

KENT: While Heather Locklear Fortensky remains at large. Remember if you see any celebrities consider them dangerous.
HUGH: You know, I rather like this pub.
MOE: Oho, an English boy eh? You we saved your ass in World War II.
HUGH: Yeah, well, we saved your arse in World War III.
MOE: Is true.
HOMER: Hugh, there's something I want you to have, my Dad gave me these cuff links to wear on the day I married Marge, and they brought us good luck, I couldn't imagine a happier marriage. We don't have many traditions in our family. But it would mean a lot to me, if you kept this one alive.
HUGH: Well, I'd be honored

HOMER opens the case, it has two pigs.

HUGH: To wear those things...

Cut to BART who's playing virtual pool. He's hit in the head with a virtual dart.

BART: Ow, watch those virtual darts. I'm trying to play virtual pool.

BART and the other GUY start virtual fighting.

MOE: Hey, hey, no fighting in my bar.

MOE hits a button as BART and the GUY scream on the floor in pain.

In HOMER and MARGE's bedroom. They're watching TV.

MARGE: You know, Fox turned into a hardcore-sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice. Yesh.

HOMER: Marge, it's so great to have the whole family together under one roof. I never realized how much I missed it. Listen to the Murmurs in the next room. The house is full of life again.

HOMER starts to bang on the wall.

HOMER: Keep it down in there!
LISA: Alright Dad! Ugh. I'm sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart.
HUGH: No, No, honey. We had a fine time.

LISA notices that HUGH has a gash on his forehead.

LISA: How'd you get that gash on your forehead?
HUGH: Oh that was when we hid in the Dumpster after the fire-alarm went off in the pornographic-magazine warehouse.
LISA: Oh. You are so good to put up with all of this.
HUGH: Oh, don't be silly Lisa. Everything's fine. Really. Now go to sleep we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. A big long, day.

LISA turns the light off and they go to sleep. HUGH starts to think.

The next day LISA walks into MARGE's room holding her wedding dress, she is now wearing her white pearls.

MARGE: Lisa, I can't believe it's your wedding day already.
LISA: Mom, I feel kind of funny wearing white. I mean, Milhouse.
MARGE: Oh, Milhouse doesn't count.

MARGE and LISA start laughing.

LISA: Okay, I've got something old, that's my pearl necklace. Something new that's the wedding dress, something borrowed is this Antique brooch from Hugh's mother, now, I just need something blue.

MARGE looks at her hair, takes a pair of scissors and cuts of a small piece of her hair, she hands it to LISA.

MARGE: Here.
LISA: Oh. Mom. Thanks.

The two hug.

As the car drives by the river, we pan to see several fish come out. These include, a 6-eyed BLINKY, a donkey fish, and a FRINK-fish.

FRINK-FISH: Ning-hey.

LISA is sorting herself out in a private tent, as BART walks in.

BART: Wow, Lisa. Looking at you makes me wanna get married for the third time. I met a really nice exotic dance the other night at Hugh's bachelor party.
LISA: Hugh didn't have a bachelor party.
BART: We had one in his honor

LISA stares at BART.

BART: I had one in his honor.

LISA is still staring.

BART: I went to a strip club.

Cut to HUGH.

HUGH: Well, here goes nothing. Mum, Dad, meet, Homer Simpson.

MR & MRS. MARKFIELD shake hands with HOMER.

MR. PARKFIELD: How do you do?
HOMER: Hey. How are you? Nice you meet you. You what's great about you English? Octopussy. Man, I must have seen that movie... twice...
HUGH: Yes, yes, that's not too bad.

PATTY and SELMA walk in, they see MRS. KRABAPPEL.

PATTY: Hey, Krabappel, get in the way of that bouquet and I'll stuff that sun hat down your neck.

SMITHERS and MR. BURNS walk in. MR. BURNS isn't bending his legs.

BURNS: Smithers, take me home, I'm not fully defrosted.
SMITHERS: Nonsense. Just sit down and rest for a moment. There you go.

BURNS goes to sit down, but he breaks in half.

SMITHERS: Oh no. We've got a little situation here.
BURNS: I can't feel anything below my cummerbund.

HOMER goes into LISA's tent.

HOMER: Ooh-la-la.
LISA: Hi, Dad.
HOMER: You look great, sweetheart.
LISA: Thanks.
HOMER: Little Lisa. Lisa Simpson. You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to, ever since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, you've been smarter than me.
LISA: Oh, Dad.
HOMER: No, no. Let me finish. I just want you to know I've always been proud of you you're my greatest accomplishment, and you did it all yourself you helped me to understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person. But you're also my daughter and I don't think anybody could've had a better daughter than--
LISA: Dad, you're babbling.
HOMER: See? You're still helping me.

LISA notices that HOMER has the cufflinks instead of HUGH.

LISA: Hey, Dad, did you forget to give those cuff links to Hugh?
HOMER: Uh, no.
LISA: Well?
HOMER: I found them on the nightstand this morning. I guess they weren't his cup of tea. Don't worry about it.
LISA: But you've been going on about these all week. I'm sure he just forgot.

LISA walks into HUGH's tent.

HUGH: Lisa, we're not supposed to see each other before the wedding, its tradition.
LISA: What about my family's tradition.

LISA shows him the cuff links.

HUGH: Surely you don't want me to wear those. In front of my parents and their friends.
LISA: But you promised my dad you would.
HUGH: I was just humoring him, darling. Actually, he frightens me a bit.
LISA: I know they look a little silly but his feelings will be hurt if you don't wear them
HUGH: Fine.

HUGH puts on the cuff links.

HUGH: I must say, you were right. This has been quite trying. You know I've attempted to enjoy your family on a personal level, on an ironic level, as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, as cautionary example. Nothing works. Frankly I'll be quite relieved when we get back to England we won't have to deal with them.
LISA: Are you saying we won't see my family again?
HUGH: Well, possibly your mother will come when the children are born.
LISA: I can't believe I'm hearing this. I don't wanna cut my family out of my life.
HUGH: Really? Lisa, you're better than this place. You're like a flower that grew out of a pot of dirt.
LISA: <Angrily> That's a horrible thing to say.
HUGH: Oh, come on. You complain about them more than anyone.
LISA: Maybe, but I still love them. And I don't think you understand that.

LISA hands HUGH back the ring and walks out. HUGH looks at the ring.

In the main tent, REVEREND LOVEJOY is at the podium.

LOVEJOY: And now, to sing "Amazing Grace" Miss. Maggie Simpson.

MAGGIE walks up to the podium, MAGGIE's wearing a blue dress, blue gloves, still has her pacifier necklace and her bow.

DR. HIBBERT: She's quite a hellion but she does have an incredible voice.

MAGGIE: <Clears Throat> <Breathes Deeply>

HUGH runs in interrupting MAGGIE.

HUGH: Stop everything. The wedding has been called off.

Everyone starts mumbling to themselves.


Pan down to NELSON'S SON.

KRUSTY: <Groans>

MAGGIE walks off the podium, REVEREND lOVEJOY returns.

LOVEJOY: This is very sad news, and it never would have happened if the wedding was in the church with God instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature.

LUNCHLADY DORIS is at the cake.

LUNCHLADY DORIS: Who Wants cake?

Everyone rushes up. As LISA looks on, MARGE and BART are still in their seats and MAGGIE off to the right leaning on something. LISA walks away into the woods. She throws her veil and tiara on the floor; she then looks back at the tents. She has a tear in her eye. We dissolve back into the present. Present LISA is in the same spot her future self was in.

FORTUNETELLER: The next day, Hugh goes back to England and you never see him again.
LISA: Wow. Now that I know all this, isn't there anyway to change the future?
FORTUNETELLER: No. But try to look surprised.
LISA: I thought you'd tell me about my true love?
FORTUNETELLER: Oh, you'll have a true love. But I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.

The FORTUNETELLER starts laughing evilly, then throws a smoke bomb at the floor, as if she's going to disappear, but she doesn't, LISA walks away backwards shyly. The rabbit from earlier jumps into LISA's hands and she returns it to CHIEF WIGGUM's tent. HOMER walks up to LISA.

HOMER: Lisa, Lisa, where were you? You missed the most incredible thing.
LISA: Hi, dad.


HOMER: I ate 7 pounds of Fudge!
LISA: Wow!
HOMER: The man at the stand said it was a record.
LISA: Wow! What else did you do dad?
HOMER: I rode the teacups. Then I got a little sick, and I had to sit down. But then I rode them again.

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