Author's Notes: This fic mostly came about because I was playing with some of my Lisa Grabpics which you can find on the Grabpics page and had altered the colours on one of them to turn Lisa into Maggie. I had just finished watching the movie "Stand By Me" and thought about doing a parody of it with The Simpsons characters, where Maggie took the role of Chris Chambers who River Phoenix played in the movie. At first I was just going to blatantly rip it off and probably kill off Bart in the process, instead I made it Homer, and eventually it evolved into something that pretty much took nothing except for the opening and closing.
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The film opens with LISA sitting in her truck watching kids play football in a field. She looks at the passenger seat of her truck which has a newspaper boasting the headline "ATTOURNEY MAGGIE SIMPSON STABBED IN KRUSTY BURGER"
LISA (Narrate): It all started around 1984, a long time ago, but only if you count in the terms of years. It was shortly before we were born. Our parents and older brother lived on the Lower East Side of our home town Springfield, Oregon.
Sometime in, March 1984
Outside of an apartment block, MARGE and TWO WOMEN are on the steps, MARGE is holding BART.
MARGE: Did you girls catch the latest episode of M*A*S*H?
WOMAN 1: That Mike Farrell really boils my potato.
WOMAN 2: I miss the Klinger already.
LISA (Narrate): It was a little run down, but it fitted the three nicely.
Just then, HOMER starts walking up the street singing, BART toddles over to him.
HOMER (Singing): When the working day is done, girls just wanna have fun.
BART: Homer!
HOMER: (Laughs) Homer is what Grown ups call me, call me daddy.
BART: Homer.
HOMER: (Angrily) Daddy.
BART: Da- Da- Da- Domer! (Laugh)
HOMER then starts to strangle BART
Inside the apparent building, HOMER is asleep on the floor, while BART climbs onto the TV and then jumps on HOMER.
HOMER: (Scream)
HOMER then places BART on his lap and then does the classic kiddie "Got your Nose" trick.
HOMER: Got your nose.
BART grabs HOMER's wallet.
BART: Got your wallet.
BART runs off, HOMER follows, and goes into the bathroom where he flushes HOMER's wallet down the toilet. HOMER turns to BART.
HOMER: Bart, promise me that you'll never ever do that again. Understand?
BART: (Touching HOMER's Nose) Beep.
HOMER: (Growl)
Just then MARGE walks in.
MARGE: Get what Homie, there's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
HOMER: We're going to start doing it in the morning?
MARGE: No.
HOMER: Oh.
MARGE: We're going to have another baby.
HOMER: Marge that's wonderful.
BART then throws HOMER's keys down the toilet too.
BART: Bye Bye Keys.
HOMER: (Annoyed Grunt)!
MARGE: Hear that Bart? You're going to have a little brother or sister to play with.
BART: Oh wow!
LISA (Narrate): Little did mom and dad know that they were going to have two kids. Because they needed more room, a couple of day's later, Mom and Dad went house hunting. They left Bart with aunts Patty and Selma.
PATTY: Hey Bart. Want a dollar?
PATTY holds a dollar up in the air. BART tries to reach for it, but PATTY pulls it away.
PATTY: Ah-ah-ah-ah. You know what I want to hear.
BART starts to sing Little Teapot and Itsy-Bitsy Spider.
PATTY: Oh yeah!
SELMA: Love that Spout Medley.
BART Continues to sing.
LISA (Narrates): While Bart was singing and dancing with Aunt's Patty and Selma, Mom and Dad were at the estate agents looking for a bigger home.
REALATOR: Now, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, the houses we have in your price range are colourfully referred to as "The Rat's Nest"
At the first house, the REALATOR, MARGE and HOMER are surrounded by police investigators.
REALATOR: This one just came on the market.
MARGE turns around to find a notice written in blood saying "I will be back"
MARGE: Oh dear.
The REALATOR covers it over nervously.
In the next house, MARGE, HOMER and the REALATOR are surrounded by cats.
HOMER: Once we get the cats out of the way it wont be so bad.
REALATOR: Actually according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants.
LISA (Narrates): I wish we lived in the kitty house, but alas, they kept looking.
MARGE, HOMER and CAPTAIN MCCALLISTER are on a boat.
MCCALLISTER: Yar! Why buy a house, when ye can buy a house-boat!
A shark pops up out of the water as MARGE and HOMER look on CAPTAIN MCCALLISTER grabs a machete and dives into the water. Soon he pops up in the sharks mouth.
MCCALLISTER: Be sure to check out the galley. That's real shag carpeting.
LISA (Narrate): They were both about to give up, when they found a place that was perfect.
MARGE, HOMER and the REALATOR walking into 742 Evergreen Terrace.
MARGE: Homer, just imagine what we could do with this place.
HOMER pictures a couch and TV in the living room.
HOMER: Wow. How much? How Much?
The REALATOR hands them a card.
REALATOR: He's what they're asking.
HOMER: Awww... I can't afford that.
HOMER'S TV and Couch vanish.
LISA (Narrate): So in order to pay for the house Dad had to go to Grampa.
HOMER: Dad, I have a problem.
GRAMPA: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothing. I used to get by on my looks, but not they're gone. Withered way like an old piece of fruit. (Cries)
HOMER: Dad, I don't need advice, I need $15,000 to buy a home.
GRAMPA: Oh, well all I own is this house. Which I built with my own two hands.
HOMER: You didn't build this house. You won it on some crooked 50's game show.
GRAMPA: I ratted on everyone and got off Scot-Free! Heh! Heh!
GRAMPA and HOMER high five.
GRAMPA: Alright son. I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
HOMER: Dad, first you gave me life. Now, you've given be a home for my family. I'd be honoured if you came to live with us.
GRAMPA: Thank you.
GRAMPA and HOMER hug.
LISA (Narrate): It took only three weeks for Grampa to be shifted off to an old folk's home. As they moved in...
Sometime in September 1984
HOMER carries MARGE in through the door as BART stands in the doorway.
BART: Hey Homer, this house sucks.
HOMER: Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me Daddy.
BART: Homer. Nyah!
BART pokes his tongue out, as HOMER strangles BART. FLANDERS approaches the door, which TODD.
FLANDERS & TODD (Singing): We welcome you to the neighbourhood, sing fa-la-la-la-la.
TODD (Singing): Fa-la-la-la-la.
FLANDERS & TODD (Singing): From now on you'll be history
FLANDERS (Singing): You'll be hist--
TODD (Singing): You'll be hist--
FLANDERS (Singing): You'll be history. (Spoken) Buenas Dias Neighbouritos, the handles Flanders but my friends call me Ned.
HOMER: Hi, Flanders.
FLANDERS puts TODD down.
BART: Who the hell are you?
TODD: My names Todd, will you be my friend?
TODD hugs BART, BART quickly pushes him off.
TODD: You're funny (laugh)
FLANDERS: Well I'd better skedaddle. Let you folks unpack and everything.
HOMER: Catch you later Flanders.
HOMER slams the door on FLANDERS.
HOMER: Not.
MARGE (Yelling from upstairs): Homer! Come Here a minute!
HOMER runs upstairs.
HOMER: Marge, what's the problem?
MARGE: I think I need to go to the emergency room.
HOMER: Are you sure?
MARGE: OF COURSE I'M SURE!
HOMER: Okay, Okay. We'll leave Bart here with Dad. DAD!
GRAMPA pops his head around round.
GRAMPA: What?
HOMER: Can you watch Bart? I need to take Marge to the hospital.
GRAMPA: Alright.
HOMER and MARGE head out the door, GRAMPA comes downstairs.
BART: Where's Mom and Homer going?
GRAMPA: It's nothing to worry about too much, they're just going out.
BART: Oh.
GRAMPA: Don't worry boy. There's plenty of stuff here to keep us entertained.
LISA (Narrate): But when Mom and Dad got there, they were in for a surprise.
DR. HIBBERT has MARGE on the ultra scanner, where on the screen we can see baby LISA and MAGGIE. HOMER and MARGE cant see since a NURSE is blocking their view.
DR. HIBBERT: Mrs. Simpson, I'm pleased to announced that you're carrying twins.
HOMER: What?!
MARGE: Are you sure Doctor?
DR. HIBBERT: Oh yes, I'm quite certain. I can also confirm that they are both healthy little girls.
HOMER: (Annoyed Grunt)!
MARGE: What's wrong Homer?
HOMER: Nothing. This just means that we'll have to buy a third crib.
MARGE: Don't you mean a second one? Bart wont be needing his any more.
HOMER: Oh. Oh yeah right.
DR. HIBBERT takes MARGE off the ultra scanner. As they arrive home, GRAMPA is pulling on BART's legs as he wont let go of his crib.
HOMER: Dad, what's going on?
GRAMPA: Your boy wont let go of his crib.
MARGE: Bart, from now on the babies sleep in the crib.
BART: Crib, Crib, I'm a baby.
HOMER: (Sigh) I know how to handle this. Dad, Marge, lets go. Leave the little baby, which his little crib.
HOMER, MARGE and GRAMPA leave, BART is still is holding onto the crib, HOMER quickly rushes in and starting pulling on BART's legs.
LISA (Narrate): I guess Bart loved that crib all too much.
We see HOMER in the garage with planks of wood and nails. We then cut to BART's bedroom where BART is sitting in an evil looking clown bed.
HOMER: I know you like clowns so I made you this bed. Now you can laugh yourself to sleep.
BART stares at the bed. A voice over is heard.
EVIL CLOWN BED: If you should die before you should wake-- (Evil Laugh)
BART starts to shake in fear. The following Morning.
BART: Can't sleep, clown'll eat me. Can't Sleep, clown'll eat me.
Monday December 16th 1984, 10 pm
MARGE: Homie. I think the babies are coming.
HOMER: Wow. A free burger, and two new babies. Could this be the happiest day of my life?
KENT BROCKMAN (on TV): Coming up next. An hour long episode of "Mama's Family"
HOMER: Yes.
HOMER and MARGE are outside the FLANDERS house in the car.
FLANDERS: We'll take good care of your boy Simpson. Enjoy the miracle of creation!
HOMER: Shut up, Flanders.
HOMER Drives away. Revealing BART, TODD and ROD also.
FLANDERS: So boys, what do you want to play?
ROD & TODD: Good Samaritan.
Tuesday December 17th 1984, 1 am
MARGE has just given birth to LISA and MAGGIE.
DR. HIBBERT: So, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, have you thought of names yet?
MARGE: Yeah. We decided on Lisa and Maggie.
HOMER: But doc. These two are so alike, I cant tell them apart.
DR. HIBBERT: Oh, in that case, take this ribbon.
DR. HIBBERT hands MARGE A small blue ribbon. MARGE places it in MAGGIE's hair.
MARGE: There we go. Maggie's the one with the ribbon.
LISA (Narrate): Of course... Bart never liked us being there.
At home, BART is waiting outside a room. Inside the room, MARGE is holding both LISA and MAGGIE. HOMER pops his head out.
HOMER: Bart, there's two little girls in here you want to meet you.
HOMER goes back inside as BART walks up with MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE.
MARGE: Well, Bart. What do you think of your little sisters?
BART: (To Lisa and Maggie) I hate you.
Later that night, HOMER is over LISA's crib.
HOMER: Good night honey.
HOMER exits and closes the door. BART is revealed he has a pair of scissors.
BART: Hello Lisa. Hello Maggie.
BART cuts their hair. Later on, MARGE comes in with bottles.
MARGE: Lisa, Maggie, its time for your feed-- (screams)
MARGE notices that LISA is now bald. BART is in her crib too.
BART: Who's cuter now?
LISA (Narrates): Um... lets move right along shall we?
Sometime in 1985.
BART is in his messy room putting a bindle together out of a wooden toy. LISA toddles in.
BART: I liked it when it was me, Mom and Homer. You wrecked everything, I'm leaving. Goodbye!
BART starts to walk for the door.
LISA: Bart.
BART Freezes.
BART: What did you say?
LISA: Bart.
BART: Sovering Socotash! You can talk!
BART picks LISA up.
LISA: Uh...
BART runs into the living room, still holding LISA. HOMER and MARGE are on the couch.
BART: Mom, Dad, she can talk! Say it again Lis.
LISA: Bart. Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart.
BART: I'm her first word.
MARGE: Well I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon.
BART: Wow! Lisa, can you say "mommy"?
LISA: Mommy.
BART: Can you say "David Hasslehoff"?
LISA: Dava Hasahoff... heh.
HOMER: Can you say "daddy"?
LISA: Homer.
HOMER: No sweetie. "Daddy"
LISA stares blankly at HOMER.
LISA: Homer.
HOMER: (Annoyed Grunt)!
LISA (Narrate): A few days later, Maggie said her first word, which was "Daddy" so Dad got what he wanted. Since my first word though, Bart has been nicer to me and Maggie. But our whole world changed eight years on.
Sometime in 1992
At the Nuclear Plant, Homer is walking down the hall where a leaking radioactive tube falls on him; his skin turns green and is given a high dosage of Radiation Poisoning. At the Simpson household, Marge is in the kitchen when the phone rings.
MARGE: Hello. (Pause) (Gasp!) He is? (Pause) Okay, we'll thanks for letting me know. I'll head over there as soon as I can.
MARGE Hangs up the phone and picks it back up. She dials a number.
Marge: Hello, Principal Skinner? This is Marge Simpson, could you please call Bart, Lisa and Maggie to your office? I need to talk to them right away. (Pause) Thank you. I'll be there right away.
In the School, PRINCIPAL SKINNER makes a PA announcement.
SKINNER: Could the following students please come to my office. Bart Simpson...
BART: But It's only 9:15...
MRS. KRABAPPEL: Well Bart, this has gotta be a new personal best.
SKINNER: ...Lisa Simpson...
LISA: What the?!
SKINNER: ...and Maggie Simpson.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE all leave their classrooms and meet up down the hall.
MAGGIE: Bart, what the hell is going on?
BART: I wish I knew.
LISA: It's gotta be something you've done Bart.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE walk into PRINCIPAL SKINNER's office, where MARGE is waiting.
BART, LISA & MAGGIE: MOM?!
SKINNER: I'll leave you alone.
PRINCIPAL SKINNER leaves the room.
MAGGIE: Mom, what are you doing here?
MARGE: Kids, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father has had an accident at the plant.
BART: So what? He's had loads of accidents, its no big deal.
MARGE: This one is Bart. He's in hospital right now with Radiation Poisoning.
BART, LISA & MAGGIE: WHAT?!
MARGE: Plus, Mr. Burns isn't going to pay anything in hospital costs and things like that so I've had to take my old job back at the Burger Bar where I used to work.
BART: Are we gonna sue Burns?
MARGE: Of course. But the thing is, the lawyer will cost $8,000 and we cant afford that.
MAGGIE: Then really we only have one solution.
MAGGIE: Lisa and I will have to get jobs.
MARGE: What's that?
MARGE: Hmm.... I don't know about that honey.
MAGGIE: Think about it. Lisa and I are already one grade ahead. So we can drop out for a little while.
MARGE: Hmm... I still don't know. Maybe we should hear from Principal Skinner.
BART: Good Idea mom. I'll call him. (On the PA) Uh... Principal Skinner, could you come back to your office?
PRINCIPAL SKINNER runs back to his office, he arrives out of breath.
SKINNER: What (gasp) is it Bart?
BART: We've been talking and we need Lisa and Maggie to drop out of school for a few months so we can raise money for something.
SKINNER: Lisa, Maggie are you sure you both want to do that?
MAGGIE: I am. Lisa?
LISA: Well, I don't know. I suppose. If it'll help the family.
SKINNER: Very well. This is standard procedure to do this with expulsions and the such. Lisa and Maggie Simpson, you are hereby suspended from Springfield Elementary. Don't worry, that's just a cover story though.
LISA: Phew. So, we can come back when we quit?
SKINNER: Sure.
MARGE: Bart, you can go back to class now.
BART: Okay.
MARGE: Lisa, Maggie, lets go home.
BART heads back to class. In the Window MILHOUSE sees MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE get into the car and drive away. At Recess, MILHOUSE speaks with BART.
MILHOUSE: Hey, Bart. I saw your sisters and leaving with your mom shortly before you got back from Principal Skinner's office. What happened in there?
BART: It's nothing Milhouse. Don't worry about it.
MILHOUSE: But if those two were involved, it's not right.
BART: Alright! Alright! They both got suspended!
MILHOUSE: Now that ain't right!
BART: They took the rat for something. I'll make it up to them later.
MILHOUSE: You'd better.
LISA (Narrate): Bart never did tell Milhouse what happened. Back at home, Maggie and I were concentrating on finding jobs.
In the Simpson's Living Room, LISA and MAGGIE are searching through newspapers looking through the want ads.
MAGGIE: Lisa! Lisa! Here's a place.
LISA: Maggie. I don't know. I'm not sure I want to be a cocktail waitress.
MAGGIE: Lisa, I know, I know. I don't like it any more than you do, but money is money.
LISA: Besides, isn't it a little grown up for us?
MAGGIE: Lis, you just have to trust me on this one. It's the only want ad where we can both work together.
LISA: (Uneasy) Okay Maggie. If you're sure about this.
MAGGIE: (Looking at the ad) Hmm... looks like all the interviews are today. We'd better get going. (Yelling) Mom! WE need a ride to a job interview!
MARGE pops her head in from the kitchen.
MARGE: What about a resume
MAGGIE: (Looking at the ad) It says here that one isn't required. Anyway, it's on Elm Street.
MARGE: That's a bad area. Are you sure?
LISA: We don't really have a choice. We have to go in for this job.
MARGE: Okay. If you're that sure.
MARGE drives them to a club on Elm Street. They are taken in, where they wait outside a room, there is only one other APPLICATANT.
MAGGIE: Hey, Lis. Does something strike you as odd?
LISA: No. Why?
MAGGIE: Wouldn't there normally be more applicants than this?
LISA: Hmm... Yeah. I guess you're right.
A MAN yells from the next room. The man is MR. SWINDLER.
SWINDLER: Next!
MAGGIE: Ooooh! That's us Lis.
LISA and MAGGIE walk in. MR. SWINDLER looks at them awkwardly.
SWINDLER: Uh. Hello Girls. Can I please have your names?
LISA: I'm Lisa Simpson...
MAGGIE: ...and I'm Maggie Simpson
MR. SWINDLER notes that down.
SWINDLER: And what's your date of birth?
MAGGIE: December 17th 1984.
MR. SWINDLER writes that down.
SWINDLER: So, what brings two second graders....
MAGGIE: Um... That's third graders, we were both skipped ahead a grade.
SWINDLER: Uh-huh. Anyway, why do you two want to work here at such a young age.
LISA: Well, We've sort of had a little bit of family crisis.
SWINDLER: Really? I'm sure that you'll want to keep that between yourselves, so I wont ask for any details about that. Though. I would like to know a little bit more about you. Like Hobbies, Favourite subjects in school, and stuff like that.
LISA: I tend to play the sax a lot.
MAGGIE: Yeah, me too. I also skateboard and play video games.
SWINDLER: Seems like you two have a lot in common besides your looks. I think I can have you two young girls working here. You've got the job. As with everyone else who starts out, you'll be given $300 a month, plus any overtime and tips. Can you start tomorrow?
LISA: Tomorrow? I never saw that coming.
MAGGIE: (Puts her hand over Lisa's mouth) We'd love to.
SWINDLER: Wonderful. Okay Come with me. And I'll take you to the changing room.
LISA, MAGGIE and MR. SWINDLER go to the changing room.
SWINDLER: This is where you can get changed from your street clothes before work. Those dresses on the hangers there are the dresses you'll have to wear. I'm afraid we have a dress code here
MAGGIE: It's okay.
SWINDLER: You two get changed and meet me back in my office. It's the room were we had the interview.
LISA: Okay, sir.
MR. SWINDLER leaves.
MAGGIE: You know Lis. I quite like these dresses.
LISA: You would.
A fade out on the screen occurs. When the screen comes back, LISA and MAGGIE have changed into the work dresses and hung their regular dresses on the hangers. They are still wearing their white/green pearls and MAGGIE still has her bow. They head back to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: Ah. I see that you're ready. Y'know its kinda hard to tell you two apart when dressed like that.
LISA: It's not a surprise. There is a way to tell us apart though.
MAGGIE: Yeah, I'm the one with the ribbon.
SWINDLER: I see. Anyway, I feel that if we have you two girls working here, we may get into a spot of bother with things, so today, can you go home and think of a few ways where you can look older, but obviously, without actually being older.
LISA: Okay, sir.
SWINDLER: Please, you can call me Mr. Swindler if you want. Or even just Mike.
LISA: Okay... Mike. Can we call our mom, you know to come pick us up?
SWINDLER: Sure. Here, use my cell phone.
MR. SWINDLER hands MAGGIE a Cell Phone. MAGGIE dials the Simpson Household, MARGE answers.
MARGE: Hello?
MAGGIE: Mom, its me.
MARGE: Maggie! How did the interview go?
MAGGIE: It went good. We got the job.
MARGE: Well done!
MAGGIE: Yeah. We each get $300, plus overtime, plus tips. Anyway, can we have a ride home?
MARGE: Of course! I'll be right there.
MARGE hangs up the phone. MAGGIE hands the phone back to MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Thanks Maggie.
MAGGIE: We'll it'd be a while before Mom arrives.
LISA: Maybe we should change back.
MAGGIE: Good point there Lisa.
SWINDLER: Yeah. I agree. Come back here afterwards though. Oh and you can keep those dresses.
MAGGIE: Okay.
LISA and MAGGIE go back to the changing room where they change back into their regular clothes, they're both carrying their work dresses. A short while later, MARGE arrives. She toots her horn.
LISA: We'll there's mom. Thanks for everything Mr. Swindler.
SWINDLER: It's no problem Lisa. I'll show you out.
MR. SWINDLER guides LISA and MAGGIE out. LISA and MAGGIE get into MARGE's car. MARGE drives away.
MARGE: What's that you got there?
MAGGIE: These are our work uniforms.
MARGE: (Frustrated Murmur) I'd rather you didn't. But I guess you don't really have a choice.
MAGGIE: Our boss also said that we had to try and make ourselves look older.
LISA: But we don't have any ideas.
MARGE: Hmm... about we go to the mall and have a look around. Bart's still in school and it'll be about an hour before we have to go pick him up.
LISA: Alright.
MAGGIE: Sounds good to me.
MARGE: Hmm... First, we need to think on what to get. The only ideas I have are maybe high heals and lipstick.
MAGGIE: Still, That's better than nothing. Since Lis and I had nothing.
MARGE drives to the mall. MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE walk into a women's shoe shop where MARGE shows them various high healed shoes. LISA spots two red pairs. She hands a pair to MAGGIE.
LISA: These look nice.
MARGE: Try them on then.
LISA and MAGGIE try them on. They fit.
MARGE: So. How are they?
LISA: They fit.
MARGE: Okay. Lets by them.
MAGGIE: Uh... as usual. Can I get mine in blue?
MARGE: (Calling to the Squeaky Voiced Teen) Uh. Sir?
The SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN walks over.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: May I help you ma'am?
MARGE: Yes. Can we have two pairs of these style shoes? One in red and the other in blue?
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: What sizes?
MARGE: Both three.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Okay, wait right here please.
The SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN takes the shoes from them. He heads out back, and in 10 minutes he's back out with two boxes.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Could you please come over to the counter ma'am?
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE head over to the counter.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Okay, that will be $70.
MARGE hands over $70. The Squeaky Voiced Teen places the money in the cash register, then places the boxes in a bag and hands it to MARGE.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Thank you.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE exit the store. They then walk into a cosmetics shop.
MARGE: Hmm... You're obviously going to want lipstick that makes you look good.
MAGGIE: Obviously.
MARGE searches around, she finds two sticks. Marge walks up to the counter.
SALESWOMAN: Okay, that'll be $6.
MARGE hands over $10, she's give $4 in change.
SALESWOMAN: Thank you.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE leave the store.
MARGE: Okay, lets go pick up Bart.
They leave the mall, get in car and go to the school. BART is waiting outside. MARGE pulls over, and BART gets in. BART takes a look on what's behind them near the window.
BART: What the hell are those?
LISA: Never you mind Bart.
MAGGIE: Those are just our work uniforms.
BART: Wow. That was fast.
MAGGIE: So?
BART: Uh. Nothing.
MARGE: Hey, Kids, I just had an idea, why don't I take you down to the hair salon and get each of you a new hair style.
LISA: Yeah. I quite like the sound of that Mom.
MAGGIE: Yeah. Me too.
MARGE, BART, LISA and MAGGIE head off to a local hair dressers. Later, LISA and MAGGIE are upside down with face stuff and cucumbers on their faces.
LISA: Isn't this dangerous?
STYLIST: Don't worry, I am well protected.
The STYLIST puts on welding goggles and lights welding tools.
MAGGIE: Uh... Mom. I'm not so sure on this guy.
30 Minutes later, LISA and MAGGIE have a slightly fancier spiked hairdo.
BART: You know. I rather like that style.
MARGE, BART, LISA and MAGGIE head home. In the Living Room, BART, LISA and MAGGIE are there. LISA and MAGGIE have their new high heals on.
BART: So why do you have high heals again?
MAGGIE: Our Boss said that we had to look more grown up, without actually being older. This is one of the best ways we thought we could.
LISA tries to walk across the room in the high heals, but quickly loses her balance and falls over.
LISA: It's hopeless.
BART: There's nothing to it. Gimme those heals.
LISA takes off her high heals and gives them to BART who then puts them on. He starts to walk across the room.
BART: Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe. Hmm...
LISA: Do you really think we can do it?
BART: I'm starting to think I can do it. Now you try.
BART takes the high heals off, and LISA puts them back on. She walks across the room, this time keeping her balance.
LISA: Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe. Hey, I think I've got it.
BART: Remember, you'd need to walk around faster than that. So try speeding up.
LISA speeds up. She manages to keep her balance still.
BART: Okay, now you try Maggie.
MAGGIE starts to walk across the room.
MAGGIE: Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe. Hey, I think I've got it too.
BART: Good Job.
MARGE: (Yelling from the other room): Dinner's Ready!
LISA (Narrate): The next day, we set out for first full day of work. I was a little worried as to what could happen. Maggie on the other hand was calm about it. Bart still had to go to school, so at least one Simpson was getting an education.
The following day
LISA and MAGGIE meet MR. SWINDLER at the North Bar.
SWINDLER: Ah, Girls, I see that you've taken to my suggestion.
LISA: Yeah, we have everything we need right here.
SWINDLER: Ooh. Nice hair by the way.
MAGGIE: Thanks.
SWINDLER: Well, you'd better go get changed, and meet me in my office, I'll tell you where you'll be stationed there.
MAGGIE: Alright.
LISA and MAGGIE go get changed in the changing rooms, putting on their new high heals and lipstick. They then head to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
LISA & MAGGIE (Thinking): Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe.
SWINDLER: Ah, you both look good like that. The High Heals and Make-Up works.
LISA: Our Brother helped us out.
SWINDLER: Your brother?
MAGGIE: Yeah, he's a girl in heart.
SWINDLER: I see. Well, anyway, Lisa, you'll be stationed in the South Bar, and Maggie you're in the North. Dress code is the same all over though. Follow me, I'll show you there.
LISA, MAGGIE and MR. SWINDLER head to the South Bar.
SWINDLER: This is where you'll be most of the time Lisa. It doesn't get too crowded in here usually so there isn't really much to worry about however, as you can see the band stage is here also, but being a sax player I'm sure you're used to loud music.
LISA: Yeah. I was in the school band.
SWINDLER: Thats good. Now Maggie, lets go off to the North Bar where you'll be stationed.
LISA, MAGGIE and MR. SWINDLER head to the North Bar.
SWINDLER: This is where you will be most of the time Maggie. It's a little busier here than the South Bar, so Lisa you can come in here and help when needed. You two can communicate using there.
MR. SWINDLER hands them each a small device.
MAGGIE: What is this thing?
SWINDLER: Its called a codec. It was a project I made a few years ago. I got the idea from one of my favourite video games Metal Gear. Here, I'll set them up for you.
He does.
SWINDLER: There we go. All set. Lisa your frequency is 141.80 and Maggie yours is 141.12, if you need to reach me, my frequency is 140.85. To use the codec press against your ear to make a call. When someone wants to reach you the codec will beep, when you hear that noise, press against your ear to take the call. The codec's receiver directly stimulates the small bones in your ear. No one but you will be able to hear it.
LISA and MAGGIE place the codecs in their ears.
SWINDLER: Go ahead. Try them out.
LISA goes into codec mode and calls MAGGIE, she answers
LISA: Maggie, you reading?
MAGGIE: Yup, Loud and Clear Lis.
LISA exits codec mode.
LISA (Narrates): Okay, having a job is all well and good, but those codec things were a bit much. Still, they came in handy. Like when Mr. Swindler had an emergency of some sort.
The Following Week
MR. SWINDLER goes into codec mode and calls LISA and MAGGIE.
SWINDLER: Lisa, Maggie, we've got a little situation here. The band that we were gonna have play tonight cancelled, we'd need someone to take their
place.
MAGGIE: We'd probably be able to take their place.
SWINDLER: Really?
LISA: Yeah, but I'd need my sax.
MAGGIE: Let's not forget about Bart.
LISA: Oh yeah. We've been playing "Band" recently.
SWINDLER: Thats great. You've both pretty much saved by ass. I'll be able to take you home to collect whatever.
MAGGIE: What about the beers and nuts here?
SWINDLER: Don't worry about them. The other bar tenders can handle it. Come to my office as soon as possible.
LISA and MAGGIE exit codec mode and rush to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: Thanks for doing this girls. I'll pay you extra for this, and I'll even throw in $200 for Bart.
LISA: Wow thanks.
SWINDLER: Now let's-a go!
MR. SWINDLER quickly drives LISA and MAGGIE home. BART is in his bedroom. MAGGIE goes in there while LISA rushes to her room to grab her sax and a few other score sheets.
BART: What are you two doing home so soon?
MAGGIE: Bart, we need your help.
BART: What for?
MAGGIE: Our boss needs us to perform in the club tonight.
BART: Maggie, I don't know. I've got important stuff to take care of.
MAGGIE: You're just playing Dash Dingo III, besides, he'd give you $200.
BART: 200 smackers? Count me in! Let me grab my guitar.
MAGGIE: I knew that you'd do it if I mentioned money.
BART and MAGGIE leave the room and meet up with LISA at the stair well, they run downstairs.
BART (Yelling): Mom, I'm going to the club with Lisa and Maggie.
MARGE: Okay honey.
LISA (Narrate): Mom didn't even realise that we had arrived home.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE get into MR. SWINDLER'S car and he drives them back to the club. On stage...
BART, LISA and MAGGIE Perform some
MAGGIE: This next song was one that was written by my dad, who is critically ill in hospital.
BART: (Singing) And a 1 and a 2 and a 3...
LISA: (Singing) A Bom Bom Bom Bom
MAGGIE: (Singing) Baby on Board
How I'm adored
That Sign on my car's window pane
bounce in my step
Loaded with pep
Coz I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square
Friend I Don't care
that little yellow sign cant be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice
Each trip is a trip to paradise
With my baby on board!
MAGGIE gets a codec call from MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Maggie, that song sounds familiar.
MAGGIE: It should. My dad performed it with the B'Sharps.
SWINDLER: I knew it!
MAGGIE exits codec mode.
LISA: This next song was one that I wrote a little while ago.
(Singing) I got this bratty brother
BART: Hey!
LISA: (Singing) He bugs me every day.
BART: No I Don't!
LISA: (Singing) And this morning my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My dad acts like he belongs
belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
in Grade number three.
LISA gets a codec call from MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Okay Lisa, that'd do for tonight.
LISA: Okay.
SWINDLER: Bart can hang around if he wants and he can have a free drinks. I'll let the staff know. Obviously no alcohol. You girls take a break also.
LISA: Hang on. I still have song.
SWINDLER: Alright. Then you take a break.
LISA: Deal.
LISA exits codec mode.
LISA (To Maggie): Maggie, take my sax, it's time for God Bless the Child.
MAGGIE: Ooh. Okay Lisa.
LISA (Singing): Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible says.
And it still is news
Mama may have
Papa may have
God Bless the Child that's got his own
That's got his own.
Yes, the strong get smart
while the weak ones fade
and If I get stomped
They never make the break
Mama may have
Papa may have
God Bless the Child that's got his own
That's got his own.
When you've got money
You've got lots of friends
crowded around the door
but when its gone
and all finding else
They Don't come around any more
Which relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don't take too much
Mama may have
Papa may have
God Bless the Child that's got his own
That's got his own.
MAGGIE plays a huge sax solo. She eventually stops.
MAGGIE: Phew.
LISA: Okay, Mr. Swindler said that should be our last song. We can get off the stage now. Bart, he said that you can have free drinks tonight.
BART: Really? Cool?
LISA: No beer.
BART: Awww...
MAGGIE: Man, is my throat sore.
Two hours pass. BART, LISA and MAGGIE head off to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: Well, as promised here's your $200, Bart.
BART: Thanks man.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE leave.
LISA (Narrate): Dad was slowly making a natural recovery in the hospital, but Dr. Hibbert wanted him out of there because he was stinking up the joint. He was working constantly with Professor Frink to find a cure.
DR. HIBBERT: How are we doing here Professor?
PROF. FRINK: Well we're almost there.
DR. HIBBERT: He's stable at the moment, and he's making a slow recovery. But at this rate it would take months.
PROF. FRINK: We'll do what we can. As I said, I think we're almost there.
LISA (Narrates): It only took a month for Professor Frink to get the antidote complete and Dad and back to normal. By this point, Maggie and I were only $1,000 away from our $8,000 target to pay for the lawyer. Bart was hanging around the club quite a bit too. We kept performing ever now and then.
Some time in 1993.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE are on stage performing Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Yo!
Hey what's happening dude,
I'm a guy with a rep for being rude
Terrorising people where ever I go
It's not intentional
just keeping the flow
Fixing test scores
to get the best scores
Dropping Banana peels all over the floor
I'm the kid that made
delinquency an art
Last Name Simpson,
First name Bart.
I'm here today to introduce the next phase
the next step in the big Bart craze
I got a dance real easy to do
I learned it with no rhythm
and so can you, Ugh.
So move your body if you've got the notion
front to back in a rock like motion
Now that you got it
if you think you can
do it to the music that's the Bartman
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can man
Front to back, to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can man
Front to back, to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) It wasn't long ago
just a couple of weeks
I got in trouble, yeah, real deep,
Homer was yelling, Mom was too
Because I put mothballs in the beef stew
Punishment time and the air lurks gloom
sitting by myself confined to my room
when all else fails nothing else left to do
I turn on the music so I can feel the groove!
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Move your body if you've got the notion
Front to back in a rock like motion
Move your hips from side to side now
Don't you slip, let your feet glide now
If you've got the groove you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music.
You just might start a chain reaction.
BART: If you can do the Bart, you're bad like Michael Jackson.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Turn it out if you can, man
Front to back to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Do the Bartman
Everybody back and forth, from side to side.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Do the Bartman
Pick your feet up off the floor let 'em glide!
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) DO the Bartman
She can do it, He can do it so can I.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Do the Bartman
Now here's a dance beat you cant deny.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) DO THE BARTMAN!
LISA starts to play small sax solo.
BART: (Singing) Oh my ears.
Lisa put that saxophone away.
You can touch this.
I didn't do it, nobody say me do it, there's no way you can prove anything.
So, I'm in the house feeling good to be home
'Til Lisa starts blowing that damn saxophone
and if it was mine you know they'd take it away
still I'm feeling good so that's okay,
I'm up in my room
just singing a song
listening to kick-drum, kicking along.
Yeah, Lisa likes Jazz she's her number one fan
but you know I'm bad cos I do the Bartman.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can man
Front to back, to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Do the Bartman
Everybody back and forth, from side to side.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Do the Bartman
BART: (Singing) Do the Bartman
She can do it, He can do it so can I.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Move your body if you've got the notion
Front to back in a rock like motion
Move your hips from side to side now
Don't ya slip, Let your feet glide now
If you've got the groove you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music.
You just might start a chain reaction.
BART: I'm a Bartman
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can man
Front to back, to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Everybody if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can man
Front to back, to the side yes you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Do the Bartman
Move your body if you've got the notion
Front to back in a rock like motion
Move your hips from side to side now
Don't ya slip, Let your feet glide now
If you've got the groove you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music.
You just might start a chain reaction.
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Do the Bartman
BART: Oh wow, man.
LISA (Narrates): Bart helped us earn the $1,000 needed in that night alone. When Mr. Swindler handed over commence court proceedings. Maggie and I didn't go to the case because Mr. Burns being the tight person that he is refused to pay Dad anything during the case. It didn't take long for the jury to find Mr. Burns guilty of trying to kill off his lazy employees. He was fined $3,000,000 in compensation, $8,000 for the lawyer, and $60,000 for the time Maggie and I had to pull out of school.
MARGE picks up the phone and calls MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Hello?
MARGE: Yes, is this Mr. Mike Swindler?
SWINDLER: It is yes.
MARGE: Hello, this is Mrs. Marge Simpson. Lisa and Maggie Simpson's mother, Could I please speak to them?
SWINDLER: Sure. Give me a minute.
MARGE: Okay.
MR. SWINDLER goes into codec mode and calls LISA and MAGGIE.
SWINDLER: Lisa? Maggie? You reading?
LISA: Yes
MAGGIE: Loud and clear.
SWINDLER: Good, could you come to my office immediately, your mom's on the phone.
LISA and MAGGIE exit codec mode and go to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: Okay, I'm handing you over to Lisa now, Mrs. Simpson.
MARGE: Thank you.
MR. SWINDLER hands the phone over to LISA
LISA: Mom?
MARGE: Lisa, I have great news, we won the case.
LISA: Mom, that's wonderful.
MARGE: Yeah, We got $3,568,000.
LISA: Oh, wow! That's great!
MARGE: Can you get the rest of the day off?
LISA: Not sure. I'll have to ask Mr. Swindler.
MARGE: Okay.
LISA: Hang on.
LISA puts her hand over the phone.
LISA: Mr. Swindler, can me and Maggie have the rest of the day off?
SWINDLER: Huh? Oh, Sure. I'll find someone to fill in.
LISA turns back to the phone.
LISA: Yeah, we can have the rest of the day off.
MARGE: Okay, we'll be over to pick you up shortly.
LISA: Alright mom.
LISA hangs the phone up.
LISA (To Maggie): Maggie, WE WON!
MAGGIE: Lisa, that's great news.
LISA and MAGGIE start dancing around in circles.
SWINDLER: So I guess that you'll both be returning to school.
LISA: Yeah. I guess so.
MARGE honks her horn. LISA and MAGGIE get into the car. HOMER looks rather puzzled. MARGE drives off.
HOMER: What are you two wearing?
MAGGIE: These are our work uniforms.
HOMER: Work Uniforms? You mean you got jobs?
MAGGIE: How else would be pay for the lawyer?
HOMER: Oh, well. You two do look kind of cute like that.
LISA giggles.
LISA: Anyway, since we won the case, I guess I'll go back to school.
MARGE: That's a very good idea Lisa. Maggie, I want you to do the same.
MAGGIE: You'd think so but no. I want to continue working for Mr. Swindler.
MARGE: No you wont young lady. You will go back to school and get an education.
MAGGIE: But Mom...
HOMER: Your mothers right Maggie. You Don't know what you want to do when you grow up.
MAGGIE: But I have a job already, I like it. I have fun.
BART: Mom's right Maggie. You have the potential to do what you want, Don't just take the first job that comes your way. Aim higher. I wanna be able to mooch off of you.
MAGGIE: Mooch off of Lisa, Bart.
LISA: Yeah Maggie, Bart's right. Minus the mooching. I know you enjoyed it there, and so did I, but as he said, you have the potential to do what you want, you could be a lawyer or a graphic design or something.
MAGGIE: I've made up my mind and no one is going to change it.
MARGE: (Sigh)
LISA (Narrates): We all did try to get her to change her mind, but we all failed. I went back to school and Maggie stayed out and continued to work at the club, her attitude began to change, she let her hair down, she changed the colour of her clothes from blue to red. But eventually I came up with an idea to get Maggie to go back to school.
Some time in 1995
In the Simpson living room HOMER, MARGE, BART are watching TV, Lisa runs down the stairs.
LISA: I've got it!
HOMER: Got what?
LISA: How we can get Maggie to go back to school.
HOMER: Oh? How?
LISA: I ask Mr. Swindler to fire her.
MARGE: I Don't know Lisa, Maggie does enjoy it there.
LISA: It's the only way Mom.
BART: Yeah, Lisa's the brains here.
MARGE: Okay, if you think that it'll work.
HOMER: Yeah, Cos if it doesn't we're out of a pay check!
HOMER drives the four to the club, they take a seat as MAGGIE unaware walks up to them. She drops her notepad.
MAGGIE: Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?
HOMER: What? Cant your old man have a drink with his family?
MAGGIE: But here? What happened to Moe's?
HOMER: For some reason, Moe's is closed tonight.
Suddenly, MR. SWINDLER appears behind her.
SWINDLER: Maggie, what have I told you about talking to the customers? Other than asking for their drinks?
MAGGIE: But, Mr. Swindler...
SWINDLER: No buts...
HOMER: It just so happens that I'm her father.
SWINDLER: The drunken gambler?
HOMER: That's right, and who might you be?
SWINDLER: I'm Mike Swindler, her boss. (Noticing Bart and Lisa) BART, LISA! I didn't see you there!
LISA: Hi Mr. Swindler, Um... Can I have a word with you in your office?
SWINDLER: Sure.
LISA and MR. SWINDLER leave.
MAGGIE: Well, while you're here, what will it be?
HOMER: I'll have a Duff.
MAGGIE: Uh, Dad, we Don't have Duff here.
HOMER: Eh, then give me whatever beer you have.
MAGGIE: Mom?
MARGE: Nothing for me Maggie. I'm driving.
MAGGIE: Okay, Bart?
BART: Usual.
MAGGIE: Okay, I'll get Lisa one too.
MAGGIE walks over to the bar and speaks with a bar tender.
MAGGIE: Steph, can we have two Buzz's and an RTB over at Table 33?
STEPH: Coming up.
In MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: So Lisa, what was it you wanted to ask me? Come to take your old place back?
LISA: Sorry, but no. I actually wanted to talk to you about Maggie.
SWINDLER: Oh well. Your place is always here when you need it.
LISA: Thanks. Anyway, back with Maggie, can you do me one favour?
SWINDLER: What sort of favour?
LISA: Fire Maggie.
SWINDLER: WHAT?
LISA: Its the only solution we've got. She's changed her hair, style, behaviour, she's even totally dropped out of school.
SWINDLER: Oh my lord. I cant believe that. Okay, I'll see what I can do. Also, I have a favour to ask you. Can you and Bart play tonight?
LISA: Tonight? I Don't know
SWINDLER: I've got $500 in it for each of you.
LISA: I guess so.
SWINDLER: Alright! In case I need you, here's your old codec back.
LISA: You still have those?
SWINDLER: Yeah. They sure come in handy.
LISA: Yeah, they did.
SWINDLER: Your frequency is still the same as before, 141.80. Mine hasn't changed either that's still 140.85.
LISA: Thanks.
SWINDLER: You do remember how to use it right?
LISA: Yeah. I remember.
SWINDLER: Obviously, go talk to Bart about the $500.
LISA goes back out to the family.
LISA: Hey Bart, fancy performing tonight?
BART: Sorry Lis. Not tonight.
LISA: You'll get $500.
BART: Really? Count me in.
BART and LISA get up on stage. "Anyone Else" plays.
LISA: (Singing) Hey what are you hiding
under that funny hair.
I know the lights are on but there's no body there.
I need a new life
I need a new next of kin
So I've got news for you.
Brother, I'm trading you in.
BART & LISA: (Singing) For anyone else
In the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
LISA: (Singing) Somebody to be a friend in need
somebody who would care about me
BART & LISA: (Singing) Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
BART: (Whistle)
(Singing) Hey, Little Miss. Perfect who made you the queen?
LISA gets a codec call from MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Lisa you Don't need to respond, but I just fired Maggie, she was a bit tearful. Expect her to come running past you shortly.
BART: (Singing) Who said it was cool to be so squeaky clean.
Awww... Man.
I need a play mate
Someone who knows how to have some fun
So I've got news for you.
Sister your time has come
Your time has come.
BART & LISA: (Singing) Anyone Else
In the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
BART: (Singing) Somebody who's got a radical mind
Over the edge and way outta line.
BART & LISA: (Singing) Anyone else
in the whole wide world would do.
LISA: (Singing) I'm gonna trade you in
Hmm... Yeah... I'm gonna trade you in.
You're too much to take
You're completely deranged.
I'll sell you for a dime and
give nine cents change.
BART: (Singing) I wouldn't take any money
that's a losing bet.
MAGGIE runs past BART and LISA, LISA points to MARGE to chase after MAGGIE. MARGE acknowledges and runs after her.
BART: (Singing) I'd trade you in for anyone I could get.
LISA: (Singing) Anything I could get
BART: (Singing) Any time I could get it.
LISA: (Singing) Anywhere I could get it.
BART & LISA: (Singing) Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you.
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
BART: (Singing) Somebody to be a friend in need.
LISA: (Singing) Somebody to care about me
BART & LISA: (Singing) Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you.
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
BART: (Singing) Somebody to be a friend in need.
LISA: (Singing) Somebody to care about me.
Outside with MARGE and MAGGIE. MAGGIE is on the steps crying.
MARGE: Honey, what's wrong?
MAGGIE: Mom, Mr. Swindler just fired me.
MARGE: Hmm... Don't you think that its for your own good?
MAGGIE: What do you mean?
MARGE: I mean, you have been spending an awful lot of time here. And you did drop out of school.
MAGGIE: But how will school help me? I had every thing I needed.
MARGE: Sweetie. You Don't know what you're going to be when you get older. You this job was only temporary.
HOMER comes out to see what's going on.
HOMER: Your mother's right honey. You have so much to live for. You could get an even better job in the future. Maybe a journalist, or graphic designer or whatever it was Lisa said.
MAGGIE: I guess you're right.
HOMER: Now lets go inside and see your brother and sister performing.
MAGGIE: Okay Dad.
HOMER, MARGE and MAGGIE go back inside. MAGGIE walks up to Lisa.
MAGGIE: Hey, Lis. Can I perform with you?
LISA: Sure Maggie. What song do you want to do.
MAGGIE: Hows about that new one we've been writing?
LISA: Sisters' are doing it for themselves?
MAGGIE: Yeah, That one.
The Music Starts.
LISA: I'm so excited this is great!
(Singing) Now there was a time
When we used to say
That behind every great man
There used to be a great woman
MAGGIE (Singing): But oh, times have changed
and that's no longer true.
We're coming out of the kitchen
Because there's something we've forgot to say to you.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: Oh yeah!
MAGGIE: (Singing) Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: (Singing) Now this is a song
To celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
MAGGIE: (Singing) Mama and her daughter
and all of their daughters too.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Woman to Woman
MAGGIE: (Singing) We're all singing along with you.
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: (Singing) Standing on their own two feet, and ringing on their own bells.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
MAGGIE: (Singing) No, we ain't making stories
No we ain't laying plans.
A man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man, yeah.
LISA: This is incredible female power
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves.
LISA: (Singing) The inferior sex has gone to exterior
MAGGIE: (Singing) We got doctors, lawyers and politicians too yeah!
Hey now everybody take a look around
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Can you see, can you see, can you see?
MAGGIE: There's a woman standing right next to you
Lisa & Maggie: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
MAGGIE: Well, that went alright.
LISA: Yeah. My voice is sore now though.
MAGGIE: Yeah, mine too.
BART: Lets get a drink.
MAGGIE: Okay. I'll get them.
MAGGIE walks over to STEPH.
MAGGIE: Hey Steph, can we have 3 Buzz's over at Table 33?
STEPH: Coming up.
MAGGIE joins HOMER, MARGE, BART and LISA at the table.
HOMER: This is what life is about. Drinking Beer... or cola and singing songs with your family.
MAGGIE: Makes you think
BART: You wish.
MAGGIE: We've been doing the singing all night. Mom, Dad, why Don't you go sing?
LISA: Yeah, Dad, you wrote a song.
HOMER: I did? When?
MAGGIE: Just after the B'Sharps split up, remember?
HOMER: Oh right. You mean, "Every Summer with you". C'mon Marge, I need someone to sing it with.
MARGE: Okay Homie.
HOMER and MARGE get up on the stage. The music starts.
HOMER: (Singing) Don't have a cabin the Pocinno's
MARGE: (Singing) Don't have a place at the beach
HOMER: (Singing) I'd love to shuffle off to Buffalo.
MARGE: (Singing) It's just a little out of our reach
HOMER: (Singing) But I Don't need a holiday
As long as you're here with me
HOMER & MARGE: (Singing) Winter's gone It's Spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every Summer with you
Every Summer with you
MARGE: (Singing) Hey Homie, I had an idea, how about this
Atlantic City by the shiny sea
HOMER: (Singing) Yeah, but its just a little too far away
MARGE: (Singing) Oh, well, how about Orlando in a new RV?
HOMER: (Singing) Hmm... I like it but who's gonna pay?
MARGE: (Singing) You're right. It doesn't matter where we go,
It doesn't matter if we stay
HOMER & MARGE: (Singing) Winter's gone It's Spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every Summer with you
Every Summer with you
MARGE: (Singing) And we Don't let our troubles get in the way
We'll stay together come what may
We Don't care if its a cloudy day
It's only weather
HOMER: (Singing) and later on when we're old and grey
And lady luck has finally come our way
We'll take a trip to San Diego bay
HOMER & MARGE: (Singing) Together.
HOMER: Oh, it'll be great Marge.
MARGE: Oh, it'll be so nice.
HOMER: Sea World. And they have a zoo with more apes than you can imagine.
MARGE: ...and I could get a hot dog on a stick.
HOMER: Yes. And they have a big Mall.
MARGE: (Singing) It doesn't matter what we do.
HOMER: (Singing) It doesn't matter where we stay.
HOMER & MARGE: (Singing) Winter's gone It's Spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every Summer with you
Every Summer with you
MARGE: (Singing) with you.
HOMER: (Singing) In the Spring or the winter or fall
MARGE: (Singing) Every summer with you.
HOMER: You know Marge
MARGE: What Homie?
HOMER: We have enough money to go to the Springfield Mystery Spot for the weekend
MARGE: I'm right behind you. Where is it?
HOMER: Lets, see, take Route 35 and we'll stop here to eat, then we'll get off at 6 and stop there to eat... then we'll stop here to eat...
The Music stops.
HOMER: I think that will be enough for us tonight. Lets just finish our drinks and go home.
MARGE: Yeah, good idea.
HOMER and MARGE return to the table.
HOMER: Kids, finish your drinks, then we can go home.
LISA: But we need to see Mr. Swindler before we go.
MAGGIE: What? Why?
LISA: So we get get our pay.
MAGGIE: What pay?
BART: Maggie, you should know more than anyone. For the singing.
MAGGIE: Oh yeah. I forgot he does that. Oh well. Lets go.
LISA: Mom, Dad, you wait in the car. We'll be there soon.
MARGE: Okay.
HOMER and MARGE head out to the car. BART, LISA and MAGGIE go to MR. SWINDLER'S office.
SWINDLER: Ah, Simpsons, I see that you're ready to go.
LISA: Yeah.
SWINDLER: Well. As promised here's an envelope containing $1,000. And for Maggie, here is your pay for the current month, plus a little extra.
MAGGIE: Thank you sir.
SWINDLER: You okay Maggie?
MAGGIE: Yeah.
LISA: We'd better go. Mom and Dad are waiting for us. (To Bart and Maggie) Bart, Maggie, You go on ahead, I'll catch up.
MAGGIE: Okay Lis.
BART and MAGGIE leave.
LISA: Here is your codec back.
SWINDLER: Thank you Lisa.
LISA: We'll until the next time we meet. See you around Mike.
SWINDLER: Goodbye Lisa.
LISA (Narrates): We never did see Mr. Swindler after Maggie went back to school. AS the years passed on, everything reverted back to the way it should be. Once again though, our lives changed one day in 2000, shortly after Bart, Maggie and I graduated from high school. I was going to go off to Yale, Bart to work at a local construction yard and Maggie was going to work as Assistant Manager to Mr. Swindler or something. But when Dad was changing the oil on his car...
Sometime in 2000
HOMER is outside under that car with tools changing the oil.
HOMER: (Singing) Changing the oil! Changing the oil!
Suddenly his hand slips and cuts the gas tank. Gas starts to pour into Homer's mouth. There's so much he's forced to swallow it, as a result, he dies.
LISA (Narrate): Dad swallowed so much gas that he died almost instantly he swallowed it. It was a sad day for the family. I had to cancel my course at Yale to save on expenses and work for Mr. Swindler again, however this time he made made manager of the finances, of course, Maggie and I performed songs every now and then. It took some getting used to again. And that wasn't the half of it, a year later...
Sometime in 2001
LISA and MAGGIE walk into their living room. MARGE is lying dead on the floor, with a bullet in her chest.
LISA: (Running up to Marge) Oh no! Mom! Mom! Say something!
MARGE: ....
LISA: (Starting to cry) Say something mom.
MARGE: ....
MAGGIE: (Crying) C'mon mom. Say something.
LISA: (Crying) We're too late Maggie. She's gone.
MAGGIE: (Crying) Who ever did this is going to pay.
LISA (Narrate): I've never seen Maggie so determined in my whole life. She managed to follow all the clues she could find and managed to track the person down to none other than Bart. Maggie had Bart arrested, and he was sentenced to 12 years. Since then, I've become the owner of the bar that Mr. Swindler ran and renamed it to "The Jazz Hole", Maggie became a successful lawyer working for a local Law Firm.
Sometime in 2010
MAGGIE is going through a series of papers, until one catches her eye. It has the defendant name of MARGE SIMPSON on it.
MAGGIE: What the hell?! Marge Simpson?! I'd better call Lisa.
LISA (Narrates): Its been nearly a year since Maggie and I actually saw each other. We did talk to each other over the phone though.
MAGGIE picks up the phone and dials LISA's number.
LISA: Hello, Jazz Hole, Lisa Simpson speaking.
MAGGIE: Hey, Lis, its me.
LISA: Maggie! How are you?
MAGGIE: I'm fine, listen, I've got something really important here that I really need to show you, could I come over and speak with you there?
LISA: Sure, I'll be in my office at the Jazz Hole for the next few hours or so.
MAGGIE: Okay. I'll be over there as soon as possible.
MAGGIE hangs up the phone, then looks at all the other paper work.
MAGGIE: Ah, screw that lot, this is important.
MAGGIE gets in her car and goes to the Jazz Hole. She speaks with a BARTENDER there.
BARTENDER: Yes, may I help you?
MAGGIE: Uh. Yeah, Is Lisa Simpson around?
BARTENDER: May I ask why?
MAGGIE: I'm her twin sister. I've got something important to show her.
BARTENDER: Phew. Miss. Simpson is in her office, its upstairs to the right.
MAGGIE: Thanks.
MAGGIE walks upstairs. She see reaches Lisa's office door. a plaque reads "Miss. L. Simpson - Owner" MAGGIE knocks.
LISA: Who is it?
MAGGIE: Lis, its me.
LISA: Come on in Maggie.
MAGGIE walks into LISA's office, she has a quick look around.
MAGGIE: You sure have revamped this old place Lis. It's quite a nice club.
LISA: Thanks Maggie, but what was this thing you wanted to show me?
MAGGIE: Oh right that. Well, I was shuffling through my files today and I found this one where I have to defend someone over something.
LISA: Yeah, so?
MAGGIE: The person I have to defend is a Mrs. Marge Simpson.
LISA: What? Are you sure? Thats Mom's name.
MAGGIE: Yeah, I know. I have the papers here with me. I shouldn't really show them to you, because of confidentiality, but take a look.
MAGGIE hands LISA a bundle of papers. LISA puts on a pair of glasses and takes a look at the pages.
MAGGIE: So what do you think?
LISA: Hmm... Could be a trap. I suggest that you meet with this "Marge" before the trial.
MAGGIE: Good idea.
LISA: Maybe you should have the meeting here. Just to avoid any unpleasantness.
MAGGIE: Good idea Lis, Thanks.
LISA: Ooh. I gotta go perform. Fancy staying around for a while?
MAGGIE: Gee, I'd love to, but I don't have any money on me.
LISA: don't worry about that. You can have drinks on me tonight.
MAGGIE: Are you sure?
LISA: Of course, you're my sister my you know. And if you wanna get up on stage with me, I wouldn't exactly say no. I still have all those music sheets from ten years ago.
MAGGIE: Really kept them after this long?
LISA: Yeah. Just looking at them brings back memories.
MAGGIE: (Laughs) yeah, I'd love to play "Sisters are doing it for themselves" again.
LISA: Sounds good to me. Let me find the music sheets.
LISA rummages through a bundle of music sheets and pull out five or six pages.
LISA: Ah here we are. Well then Maggie, lets get the show on the road.
LISA and MAGGIE head downstairs, LISA hands the score sheets to the musicians. MAGGIE is standing on stage with LISA.
LISA: Tonight, we have a special guest singer with me tonight, my twin sister, Maggie, and we'll be performing a song that we both wrote around ten years ago. Hit it.
LISA: I'm so excited this is great!
(Singing) Now there was a time
When we used to say
That behind every great man
There used to be a great woman
MAGGIE (Singing): But oh, times have changed
and that's no longer true.
We're coming out of the kitchen
Because there's something we've forgot to say to you.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: Oh yeah!
MAGGIE: (Singing) Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: (Singing) Now this is a song
To celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
MAGGIE: (Singing) Mama and her daughter
and all of their daughters too.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Woman to Woman
MAGGIE: (Singing) We're all singing along with you.
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doing it for themselves
LISA: (Singing) Standing on their own two feet, and ringing on their own bells.
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
MAGGIE: (Singing) No, we ain't making stories
No we ain't laying plans.
A man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man, yeah.
LISA: This is incredible female power
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves.
LISA: (Singing) The inferior sex has gone to exterior
MAGGIE: (Singing) We got doctors, lawyers and politicians too yeah!
Hey now everybody take a look around
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Can you see, can you see, can you see?
MAGGIE: There's a woman standing right next to you
LISA & MAGGIE: (Singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
The is around of applause. LISA and MAGGIE get off the stage.
LISA: Well, Maggie, it was fun singing with you again.
MAGGIE: Yeah, Same. Well I'd better go and meet this person of ours.
LISA: Yeah. See you later Maggie.
LISA (Narrate): Maggie did arrange to mean this "Marge" at the club the following week at noon. Maggie and I were really anxious about it. Little did we know that it really was mom.
MARGE walks into the Jazz Hole, LISA and MAGGIE are both waiting.
MARGE: Lisa? Maggie?
MAGGIE: Uh... Mom?! Is that really you?
MARGE: Yeah. It's me.
LISA: B- B- B- We thought you died.
MARGE: We'll I can explain that. Shortly after your father died, I started to get into a lot of financial trouble, and I couldn't keep relying on you two kids, so Bart and I got talking and we thought it would be easier if I could we could both claim on my life insurance. Bart claimed it and I got $5,000 to help live a new life on my own.
MAGGIE: So you pulled a Grandma.
MARGE: Something like that yes.
MAGGIE: But mom, this case, is it true?
MARGE: No. There's nothing to worry about, I'm not in any law trouble. It was my way of reaching out to you. Anyway, we have to get Bart out of jail.
MAGGIE: Oh yeah. I totally forgot about him.
LISA: Yeah, me too.
MARGE: So why don't we go see him then?
LISA & MAGGIE: Sounds good to me.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE go to the Springfield Maximum Security Prison.
LISA (Narrates): Maggie managed to pull a few strings to get us in to the visiting room where we can see Bart.
BART is thrown into a visiting room by guards.
BART: MAGGIE! You haven't visited me in 9 years. What are you doing here?
MAGGIE: First, I'm sorry for putting you in here, mom told us the truth a few hours ago. Second, we're gonna get you out.
BART: How?
MAGGIE: Parole is our only option. I'll play as your lawyer.
BART: Huh? You're a lawyer?
MAGGIE: Yup.
BART: See. I told you would get a decent job instead of that crummy waitress job at that silly club.
LISA: Hey! I own that place now.
BART: You do? Sorry Lisa. It just shows up to speed I am with these things.
MAGGIE: We'll be able to talk about that later. The parole meeting is tomorrow, Mom, Lisa and I will be there for you.
BART: Thanks Maggie. You don't know how much it'll mean to me.
MAGGIE: I'll bet that I do.
BART: Oh, it looks like my time is up, catch you tomorrow Maggie!
MAGGIE: Same here Bart. Same here.
BART is lead away by guards.
LISA (Narrate): Maggie did get Bart out. I gave him a bar tending job at the Jazz Hole and Maggie continued to work as a lawyer. Mom moved in with her. Just last week, they were both visiting a local Krusty Burger when two men in front of then got into an argument. Maggie always tried to make the best peace tried to break it up, one of them pulled a knife. She was stabbed in the throat, she died almost instantly.
Friday 2nd August 2013
LISA is typing out the final line of a new song she's writing. LAURA comes in.
Laura: Mom, can we go?
Lisa: You ready?
Laura: I've been ready for more than an hour.
LAURA exits. LISA smiles at the now closed door. LISA saves her work and then shuts the computer off. LISA meets up with LAURA outside and they both get in the truck. LISA drives them over to a recent grave, where she lays flowers down, the grave reads "In loving Memory of Margaret Jane Simpson 1984 - 2013". LISA and LAURA then sit on the bonnet of the truck looking at the stars.
The End.
