A Recognised Foe
Written By: Kathryn Bunny

Marge: It was just an accident, she didnt mean it. If Maggie could talk, I'm sure she would apologise for shooting you.
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid thats insufficient. Officer, arrest the baby!
Wiggum: Yeah right pops. No jury in the world would convict a baby. Maybe Texas.

Fast forward 8 years.

The Kitchen- The Simpson's are starting on Breakfast as the post is rammed through the door

Homer: Well I better get off to work
Marge: Kisses Homer Bye Homie.

Everyone else is silent

Homer gets into his car and drives off to The Plant While Marge clears the dirty dinner plates off the table

Marge: Maggie get your feet off the table!

Maggie smirks and swings her legs down from the table

Cut to Nuclear Power Plant

Homer: Sighs When I get enough money I'm carting my ass of to somewhere where I can be happy

Homer goes into the dim Corridor

Homer: There isn't any decent lights either, I thought Mr. Burns after working in a Nuclear Plant practically forever would want his workers working in the best conditions

Homer passes Sector 7A and peers through a crack in the door

Homer: And look at those workers

The Room is full of People in Hardhats coughing loudly because of the rise of smoke from the exhaust fumes from out the window that are seeping in

Homer: Meh, I have my own problems

As Homer Walks away one of the workers speak

Worker: Ugh... Ugh... oxygen!

Worker Collapses

Homer reaches his office and goes in and finds a Racoon chewing at the wires


It hisses loudly the Racoon flies at Homer and bites his ear

Homer: OW!

The Racoon flies out of the window

Homer: Damn Rodents!

Cut to Simpson Living Room

Maggie: Awwww... man all the shows are crap!
Bart: Yeah why do we only have Forty Channels anyway?
Marge: Because we're lucky, Ned Flanders doesn't even have four after that robber nicked the cable!
Bart: Poor guy, looses his wife and then his precious cable
Maggie: Where's Lisa?
Marge: She's out with Janey and Allison

Cut to Janey's House

Janey: And then he said you're cute!

All the girls gasp and giggle

Allison: That Rex Harrison is a cutie!
Janey: Ewwww! You like Rex Harrison?
Allison: Yeah! well you like Milhouse!

Janey gasps

Janey: Secret Teller! You like Ral...
Lisa: Please You Two

Cut to Maggie's Room

Marge: Maggie clean this room, I can barley see your floor
Maggie: You Wouldn't want to see my floor Mom
Marge: And you can stop being cheeky with me Young Lady or I will have you sweeping the basement floor
Maggie: And who is gonna stop me?

Cut to Power Plant

Homer's sitting in his chair, The only sound is the ticking of the clock


Homer: Erg! I have do something!

Homer takes out a Chess Set

Homer: No how do you play this with one player?

Homer Frowns

Homer: Oh wait that's solitaire

Suddenly Lenny puts his head round the door

Lenny: Hey Homer break time
Homer: What's wrong with the Break and Lunch Bell
Lenny: Eh, It ain't been the same since some nut shoved his foot into the socket

Homer looks Guilty

A Quick Flashback to Last Week

Homer: Hey Carl bet you can't fit you foot into that socket
Carl: Bet I can
Homer: Yeah well

Homer raised his foot and rams it into the socket

Homer: Beat That

Homer tries to pull his foot out but realises he is stuck

Homer: AAAAAAAAGRGH!!!!!!!!!!!
Carl: Oh No

Carl pelts from the room

Much Later

Homer: Hello? Little Help!

Back to Present Day

Homer: Lucky someone helped me and then I realised never to drink Turpentine again...
Lenny: Err, Homer we were talking about the Broken Lunch Bell
Homer: DO'H!

Cut to Lunch When Homer has had enough and is storming off to Mr. Burns's Office

Homer: I just hope he will give his workers more fun stuff to do...

Homer Suddenly bumps into a woman who is Familiar

Homer: Mindy?
Mindy: Err Hi Homer...

Homer blushing dodges round Mindy and runs the rest of the way to Mr. Burn's Office

Cut To Lisa's Room

Lisa: And the Final Piece to the puzzle...

Lisa places in the puzzle Piece

Lisa: Yes! Finally after ten weeks of back breaking labor it's finished!

Suddenly Santa's Little Helper runs in with Maggie behind him


Maggie hurtles over Lisa's bed after Santa's Little Helper but falls and smashes Lisa's puzzle


Maggie looks guilty while snatching back her Pacifier Necklace that Santa's Little Helper has Dropped

Maggie: Sorry, Lisa...

Cut to Mr. Burns's Office

Homer: Gasping W-well He-re I-I G-Go

Homer Knocks

Smithers: ENTER!

Homer enters with a look of dread etched on his Face

Homer: Err... Hello Mr. Burns's Sir, I'm Homer Simpson
Mr. Burns: Ah Simpson now we meet!
Homer: ...Uh.... yeah. Anyway, Mr. Burns... I have a suggestion
Mr Burns: Why didn't you just leave it in The suggestion box, Simpson?
Homer: D'OH!
Mr Burns: Well seeing as you're here and I can't be bothered to got and get lunch you might as well tell me
Homer: These honest workers need better working conditions sir, I was thinking upgrading the Plant from "Pigsty" to "Super"
Mr Burns: Well Err- Simpson I'm a bit in debt at this moment of time so I don't think we can even upgrade to as what the workers call it, "The Chicken Coop Level"

Suddenly Mr. Burns's cabinet doors spring open and hundreds fifty dollar bills spill out

Mr Burns: I can't believe that has happened before, that roof on my mansion needed Ten Thousand to be fixed.

Homer Remembers when Mr Burns Roof falls in with money when he said he was strapped for cash

Mr. Burns: I'm sorry that I cant offer you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.

Just then a pile of gold breaks through the ceiling, followed by a crown which lands on Burns's head

Mr. Burns: As you can see this old place is falling apart.

Cut to the Present.

Mr Burns: But I got back at roofer savers though, anyway, Simpson seeing as you have stumbled upon my secret hoard I mean cash cabinet I think you need a reward, a pay rise and a trip to my house for dinner tonight this Saturday and bring any family friends along with you.
Homer: Thinking that Mr Burns is being nice Thank you sir
Mr Burns: Simpson, You're dummer than you look, This is a bribe for you to keep quiet over my cash cabinet otherwise ever worker will want a pay rise now shoo!

That Night

Homer: And there will be so much wonderful luxury there Marge!

Marge who is feeding Monica looks down

Homer: Marge, Is there anything wrong?
Marge: Uh Homer, don't you remember about you-know-what?
Homer: Do I know what about what?
Homer: What Marge, I thought you would be happy with a pay rise and better working conditions...
Marge: It's not my job Homer, It's yours and think of Maggie, Mr. Burns is her ultimate nemesis!
Homer: I thought it was the One Eye browed Baby?
Marge: It was when she was little but don't you remember he moved away with his Mom after his dad left them and they couldn't even pay the rent.

A Quick Flashback of Marge hugging Gerald's Mom and a two-year-old Maggie peering round Marge's Legs shooting Gerald Dirty Looks.

Marge: And then after she shot Mr Burns which was before Gerald left she and Mr. Burns have hated each other.
Homer: But Maggie didn't mean to shoot him, he forgot her.
Marge: Fed Up Just as Lisa...

Homer Trudges out of the room

Homer: Somehow I have to make my ogre of a boss see sense!

Meanwhile Maggie is lying on her bed with her earphones in when Homer trudges in

Homer: Now Maggie...

Maggie doesn't look round

Homer: MAGGIE!

Maggie jumps and removes the headset and glares at Homer

Maggie: This better be worth my while!
Homer: Now Maggie sweetie, you know you shot Mr. Burns when you were one?
Maggie: So? What's your point Homer?
Homer: Well Mr. Burns has invited us all to go to his house for dinner on Saturday

Maggie turns pale and her mouth falls open

Much Later

Maggie: So Diamond, I have to go to a grotty old guy's house for dinner and I don't want him to recognize me as the one who shot him...

Cut to Diamond who is sprawled out on her bed with the handset to her ear

Diamond: Don't worry Mags, just disguise yourself
Maggie: And how do I do that?
Diamond: Start with the basics, your hair. Why don't you give yourself a new style? I could do it for you
Maggie: Since when have you been into hair?
Diamond: Meh?

Next day, Saturday Morning

Maggie: Diamond, make me beautiful
Diamond: French Accent Zo what doz ze lady want eh?
Maggie: Don't mind, just nothing to do with spikes...

30 minutes later

Diamond: Ok, done

She passes Maggie a mirror, Maggie gasps at her reflection

Maggie: Diamond, I- I Love it!

Diamond has given Maggie a style like hers, the "Sideburn, Hang Loose Style"

Diamond: No Problem

Maggie hugs her

Maggie: He won't even know me now

Later Maggie comes through the kitchen door; everyone gets a shock when she comes in

Marge: My Goodness Maggie, you look, uh different
Monica: Magsy look funi!
Bart: Cool man!
Lisa: Hmmmm
Maggie: Diamond did it for me.

Later the family are standing by the car while Marge inspects each one of them

Marge: Lisa, perfect as always, Bart how many times do I have to tell you not to bring that deck of cards out to dinner, Maggie straighten your hat and give Monica back her pacifier, Homer get out here now!

In the car

Marge: Right Diamond, Betty and Tom are coming too

Homer pulls into Diamond's drive and beeps

Diamond: I'm coming

She comes running out of the house dressed in her blue Sunday best, Her Mom and Dad follow

Marge: Right Maggie out your going in Diamond's Car

Cut to Diamond's car

Diamond: So Maggie anything new?
Maggie: Do you count feeling bored beyond my imagination as anything new?
Betty: You girls alright back there?
Maggie: Yes thanks Mrs. Bunny

By Mr. Burns' House

Marge: Lisa carry Monica

Marge passes Monica to Lisa and they all go up to Mr. Burns' door

Marge: Be on your best behavior kids

Smithers answers

Smithers: Right this way Simpson's and Friends

Smithers leads them through three corridors, four dining areas, six bathrooms and stops at a door and calls through

Smithers: Mr. Burns, your guests are here

He pushes the nine guests into the room

Mr. Burns: Ahh Simpson and this must be Mr. and Mrs. Bunny and their daughter Diamondia
Maggie: Uh Mr. Burns, sir she's known as Diamond
Mr. Burns: Oh Ok little girl

Maggie scowls, they all sit down at the table

Mr. Burns: So how's the home life?

Just at that point the waiter brings in the food

Mr. Burns: Ah, Homer Starter?
Homer: Thank You sir

Halfway through the meal Maggie is getting worried because Mr. Burns keeps throwing concerned looks at her, getting worried Maggie leans over and deliberately spills her Chili all over herself and Diamond

Marge: Oh Maggie you clutz, Look what you've done to Diamond's dress, Betty, Tom, I'm so sorry
Betty: Don't worry Marge, Chili stains come out in the wash, it was an accident
Marge: You had better go and get yourselves cleaned up girls, Mr. Burns? Where's the nearest bathroom please?
Mr. Burns: Oh fifty third room on the right
Marge: Call us if you get lost okay

Maggie and Diamond leave the table

Cut to Outside

Maggie: Diamond, we have to get outta here, I think he's on to me!
Diamond: Maggie, stop worrying, Look lets go and get ourselves cleaned up and if he had thought it was you he would have said something by now.
Maggie: Diamond, I don't wanna take any risks, first thing tomorrow I'm building a super power rocket that will take me far away from Springfield.
Diamond: sighOh Mags

They go and get themselves cleaned up

After that they walk around for sometime and then realise that they are lost

Maggie: Oh no, Diamond?
Diamond: I think it was through here

She pulls open a door and find themselves in the back garden

Diamond: Maybe we can find away round to the front and ring the doorbell?
Maggie: Bad idea

They venture off round but as they pass a window a sudden alarm goes off and Hounds start running at the in all directions, they scream and run for the wall


The wall is to hard to climb

Diamond: Wait

She clambers down and pulls back a bush reveling a large secret gate

They manage to make it through

Diamond: At Least were alive, Right Mags, Uh... Mags

Maggie does not reply, looking round Diamond sees Maggie Unconscious on the floor she has fainted from shock.

Diamond: Oh Goodness! Maggie!

Two weeks later

We see darkness, Maggie is still unconscious but she can slightly hear voices

Marge: So what are we going to do now Doctor
Dr. Hibbert: Let her rest, she should be waking up soon
Marge: How can you be so sure?
Diamond: Hey guys, Maggie just moved, I saw her she moved her foot
Dr. Hibbert: Thats now. Hee hee hee hee.

Doctor Hibbert, Betty, Tom, Marge, Homer, Diamond Bart and Lisa all rush over to Maggie's Bed

Maggie is stirring

Diamond: Maggie, Maggie? Can you hear me?
Maggie: Huh... Wha?
Diamond: Oh thank God Maggie you're alive
Maggie: What happened at the Dinner
Marge: You fainted from shock, Diamond rushed to get help
Diamond: Yeah, you've been in a Coma for Two weeks
Maggie: But Mr. Burns, I shot him
Diamond: He never recognized you Mags, I think even he's forgotten, his memory is so scarce and it happened so long ago now.

Maggie props herself up

Maggie: So he never recognized me?
Diamond: Nope never
Maggie: Wow, She touches her hair and feels her new- do, Uh Diamond, when I'm better can you make me again, No more hiding myself away if he has forgotten.
Diamond: Of course I Can
Maggie: Whoa what a "Hair Raising" adventure!

They All laugh as the screen turns to black


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