Lyrics
Apu: Hello, baby! It is Apu to whom you are speaking.
What's that, baby? You are proposing we have a cook-out at the beach then tear a page from the Kamasutma 'til the sun rises over the distant sea?
Sorry, baby, that's impossible: I own a convience store and baby, you know what that's like.
Got to sell the roadmaps.
Got to move the twelve packs.
I'm printing out the tickets for the lottery.
Move out all that trail mix.
Make room for the beef sticks!
Informing all the punks: "This is not a library!"
Hey! Yes, we have some string cheese!
I'll have to check those ID's!
We're running out of Happlehap and Sweet and Low! Oh!
Would you like some jerky?
It comes in beef or turkey!
You see what I am up to baby; I can't go!

Apu and Singers: I'm working Twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
We're open twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!

Apu: No! No! No! Hey, if I deserted my post,
who would be refilling the jalepeno recepticle?
You? I don't think so.
I make coffee for the riff-raff: regular and decaf;
8 ounce, 12 ounce, 20 ounce.
One for the road, sir?
Heat-lamp dogs and Cheetos, microwave burritos!
Obey the printed warning, or it's sure to explode!
I sit out front the magazines in which the subject matter's clean,
behind the counter, the adult variety!
Heh! It won't help to make a fuss,
I don't make change for the bus.
To use the restroom, you must be an employee!

Apu and Singers: I'm Working Twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
We're open twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
(No! No! No!) Twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
(No! No!) Twenty-four hours a day-ay!
That don't leave no time left to play!

Apu: No! No! No! Yes! Yes! No!
I came to this country from a far away sub-continent with dreams to make a fortune in the movie industry!
But instead, I'm making Squishees in a checkered dress.
Oh, how I wish the camera on the ceiling wasn't just there for security!
Oh, oh! Alright, I feel much better now!
I felt a little sad there; now I'm very happy again.
Oh. Oh, this is good. Yes, I like this, this is my favorite part of the song!
Yes, my great-aunt Pirani used to dance to this.
She used to work it on out. This is very funky part now.

Apu and Singers: I'm working Twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
We're open twenty-four hours a day!
That don't leave no time left to play!
(No! No! No! No! No! No!)

Apu: (Twenty-four hours a day!)
Hello, steady customer!
Okay, let's see...
(That don't leave no time left to play!)
that's one pack of potency vitamins, 3 tins of smokeless tobacco,
(Twenty-four hours a day!)
and one pack of honey-glazed popcorn.
That'll be...
(That don't leave no time left to play!)
nothing because you're carrying a gun!
Oh, here we go again
(Twenty-four hours a day!)
please, sir,
I ask that if you tie me up, you use the nylon rope;
(That don't leave no time left to play!)
it feels so much softer against my skin than the other kind. Yes,
(Twenty-four hours a day!)
you'll find it in back between the video games and the non-dairy creamer.
Please, sir,
(That don't leave no time left to play! No! No! No! No! No! No!)
oh, thank you very much.
Okay, have a nice day! Come again!