Lyrics
Background Singers: Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!

Bart: Ladies and gentlemen,
hello, it's Bart again.
Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend
'cause like it or lump it,
this is Simpson-style,
and this I demand:
Don't touch that dial!
I got your attention,
so you'd better listen up!
Dance if you must,
but please don't interrupt!
'Cause the singing I'm slayin' comes straight from the heart.
I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart".

Background Singers: Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!

Bart: Let us begin with commandment number ten:
thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end.
Shake it for your mama,
and shake it for when
you wanna party-harty and you're down in the den!
Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip.
You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip.
By this, I mean shake your bootius maximus,
make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!

Now comes a time for commandment number nine.
It's goes something like this:
thou shalt always make rhymes.
'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news.
Better than CNN, better than Family Values.
Don't get me misconstrued,
I'm not tryin' to be crude,
but a bad attitude will put you in a good mood.
It ain't true that our culture's in a decile,
just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line.

Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin',
the hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'.
Hold on to your hats,
because here come the scratchin'!
Who did that?

Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight,
goes exactly like this: thou shall procrastinate!
Put another way, this means you must be late,
whenever you can, make everybody wait.
When homework is due, don't give in to fate.
Do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it.
Of all the commandments, none can be greater...
if you want more details, come back later!

Background Singers: Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!

Bart: Moving right along, here's commandment number seven:
thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to heaven.
You don't say "no". You do say "yo!".
You hear bad songs, turn up on the radio.
Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?
You're going down low, where the rocks grow.
The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video except no guitars.
'Cause, wouldn't ya know,
it's swell down in hell except the devil plays the banjo.
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Next up here is commandment number six, it goes like this:
thou shall dance like lunatics.
Try to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'
and hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'.
Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke.
Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke.
Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin',
I need your help, so please start suckin'.
Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require,
an inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier.

And now we arrive to commandment number five.
Short and sweet: thou shall be alive.
Take off your pants, strut around in the nude.
If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?".

Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar.
The countdown continues: commandment number four!
I say unto you thou shall slam the door.
Wake up the neighbours, that's what it's for.
Slam it again. Slam it some more.
Now you got a beat that never happened before.

Background Singers: Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!

Bart: Which brings us on to commandment number three:
thou shall question authority.
'Cause authority hates curiosity,
which leads straight to originality.
From there, my friends, spontaneity.
And the downward spots straight to mockery.
Then a hop and a skip to mutiny.
Then mutiny leads to anarchy.
Then e...
Homer: Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!

Bart: Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:
thou shall do exactly what you wanna do.
Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew,
break a taboo, paint your head blue.
If you're bald, go buy a toupee.
If you're starved, go eat a souflee.
If you're crazy, get on a subway.
If you're bored, stand on a freeway.
If you're sexy, put on negligee.
'Cause this is what I have to say:
hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay.
Besides that, man, eh, what the hey!

And now, at last it's commandment number one.
Put quite simply, thou shall have fun!

Background Singers: Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall have fun!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Thou shall have fun!
Thou shall fun!

Lisa: That was pretty cool, huh?