Author's Notes: This fic mostly came about because I was playing with some of my Lisa Grabpics which you can find on the Grabpics page and had altered the colours on one of them to turn Lisa into Maggie. I had just finished watching the movie "Stand By Me" and thought about doing a parody of it with The Simpsons characters, where Maggie took the role of Chris Chambers who River Phoenix played in the movie. At first I was just going to blatantly rip it off and probably kill off Bart in the process, instead I made it Homer, and eventually it evolved into something that pretty much took nothing except for the opening and closing.
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EXT. A FIELD
The Film opens with LISA in a truck watching kid's play. She looks at a news paper with the headline "ATOURNEY MARGRET SIMPSON STABBED FATALY IN KRUSTY BURGER"
LISA <NARRATE>: It all started around 1984, along time ago, but only if you count in terms of years, it was shortly before we were born; our parents and our older brother lived on the Lower East Side of our home town of Springfield, Oregon.
1984 EXT. MARGE'S APPARTMENT BLOCK
MARGE: Did you girls catch the latest episode of M*A*S*H?
WOMAN 1: That Mike Farrell really boils my potato.
WOMAN 2: I miss the Klinger already.
LISA <NARRATE>: That side of town was a little run down. But it fitted the three nicely.
HOMER comes walking up the street
HOMER <SINGING>: When the working day is done, girls just wanna have fun...
BART walks up to HOMER
BART: Homer!
HOMER: He He. Homer is what grown ups call me. Call me daddy.
BART: Homer
HOMER: Daddy
BART: Da- Da- Da- Domer. Heh heh.
INT. SIMPSONS APPARTMENT LIVING ROOM
HOMER begins to strange Bart, in the apartment, HOMER is sleeping on the floor, BART climbs on a nearby TV and jumps onto HOMER, he screams in pain.
INT. BART'S BEDROOM
HOMER does the ol' got your nose trick
HOMER: Got your nose
BART grabs HOMER's wallet
BART: Got your wallet
BART runs off and throws it down the toilet. HOMER puts his hands on BART's shoulders
HOMER: Bart. Promise me you won't ever do that again. Understand?
BART touches HOMER's nose
BART: Beep
HOMER growls, MARGE walks in.
MARGE: Guess what Homie. There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
HOMER: We're going to start doing it in the morning?
MARGE: No.
HOMER: Oh.
MARGE: We're going to have another baby.
HOMER: Marge, that's wonderful.
We see BART throwing HOMER's key's down the toilet
BART: Bye, Bye keys.
HOMER: D'oh!
MARGE: Hear that Bart? You're going to have a little brother or sister to play with.
BART: Wow.
LISA <NARRATE>: Little did Mom, Dad and Bart know, they were going to have two children. It was only two days later that mom and dad found out when they had to go to the emergency room.
INT. PATTY AND SELMAS
PATTY: Hey Bart. Want a dollar?
PATTY holds a dollar in the hair, BART tries to reach it, but PATTY pulls it away.
PATTY: Ah-ah-ah-ah. You know what I want to hear.
BART starts to sing Little Teapot and Itsy Bitsy Spider
PATTY: Oh yeah
SELMA: Love that spout medley.
Bart continues.
LISA <NARRATES>: While Bart was singing and dancing with Aunt's Patty and Selma, mom and dad were at the estate agents trying to find us a bigger home.
ESTATE AGENT: Now, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, the houses we have in your price range are colorfully referred to as "the rats nest"
At the first house there are police men and investigators all over the place
ESTATE AGENT: This one just come on the market.
MARGE turns around and sees "I will be back" written on the wall in blood
MARGE: Oh dear
The ESTATE AGENT tries to cover it over. Next they visit a house that is filled with cats.
HOMER: Once we get the cats out of the way it won't be so bad.
ESTATE AGENT: Actually according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants.
LISA <NARRATES>: I wish we lived in the kitty house, but alas...
HOMER and MARGE are shown a house boat by CAPTAIN MCCALISTAR
MCCALISTAR: Yar! Why buy a house when ye can buy a house boat.
Just then a shark appears and CAPTAIN MCCALISTAR grabs a knife and dives after it. He re-appears in the shark's mouth
MCCALISTAR: Be sure to check out the galley. That's real scrim-Shaw!
LISA <NARRATE>: They were about to give up. When they found a house that was perfect.
MARGE: Homer, just imagine what we could do with this place.
HOMER imagines a TV and couch
HOMER: Wow. How much? How much?
The ESTATE AGENT hands them a card
ESTATE AGENT: Here's what they're asking.
HOMER: Awww... I can't afford that.
HOMER'S imagination disappear
LISA <NARRATE>: So in order to pay for the house dad had to go to Grampa.
HOMER: Dad, I have a problem
GRAMPA: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin' I used get by on my looks, but now they're withered away like an old piece of fruit.
GRAMPA bursts into tears
HOMER: Dad, I don't need advice. I need $15,000 to buy a home
GRAMPA: Oh. Well all I own is this house. Which I built with my own two hands.
HOMER: You didn't build this house. You won it on some crocked 50's game show.
GRAMPA: I ratted on everyone and got off Scot-Free!
HOMER and GRAMPA high five.
GRAMPA: Alright son. I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
HOMER: Dad, first you gave me life. Now you've given me a home for my family. I'd be honored if you come to live with us.
GRAMPA: Thank you.
HOMER and GRAMPA embrace a hug
LISA <NARRATES>: It took three weeks before Grampa was shifted off to an old folk's home. As they moved in...
BART: Hey Homer. This house sucks.
HOMER: Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy.
BART: Homer. Nygh.
BART pokes his tongue out at HOMER; HOMER strangles BART just as FLANDERS approaches
FLANDERS AND TODD <SINGING>: We welcome you to the neighborhood sing fa-la-la-la-la.
TODD <SINGING>: fa-la-la-la-la.
FLANDERS AND TODD <SINGING>: From now on you'll be history
FLANDERS <SINGING>: You'll be hist
TODD <SINGING>: You'll be hist
FLANDERS <SINGING>: You'll be history.
FLANDERS: Buenos Dias Neighbouritos, the handles Flanders, but my friends call me Ned.
HOMER: Hi, Flanders
FLANDERS puts TODD down
BART: Who the hell are you?
TODD: My names Todd, will you be my friend?
TODD hugs BART, but BART forces him off.
TODD: You're funny.
FLANDERS: We'll I'd better skedaddle. Let you folk's un-pack and everything.
HOMER: Catch you later Flanders.
FLANDERS and TODD leave
HOMER: Not
MARGE <Yelling from upstairs>: HOMER! COME HERE A MINUTE!
HOMER runs upstairs
HOMER: Marge, what's the problem?
MARGE: I think I need to go to the emergency room.
HOMER: Are you sure?
MARGE: OF COURSE I'M SURE!
HOMER: Okay, Okay. We'll leave Bart here with dad. DAD!
GRAMPA pops his head round.
GRAMPA: What?
HOMER: Can you watch Bart? I need to take Marge to the hospital.
GRAMPA: Okay.
HOMER and MARGE head out the door, GRAMPA comes downstairs
BART: Where's mom and Homer going?
GRAMPA: Don't worry they're just going to the emergency room.
BART: Oh.
GRAMPA: Don't worry. There's plenty of stuff to keep us entertained.
LISA <NARRATE>: But Mom and Dad were in for a surprise.
DR. HIBERT has the babies on the ultra scanner, but MARGE and HOMER are not looking at it as a NURSE is blocking their view.
HIBBERT: Mrs. Simpson, I'm pleased to announce that you're carrying twins
HOMER: What?!
MARGE: Are you sure doctor?
HIBBERT: Oh yes. I'm quite certain, and I can confirm that they are both healthy and you're going to have two girls.
HOMER: D'oh!
MARGE: What Homer?
HOMER: Nothing. It just means that we'll have to get a third crib.
MARGE: Don't you mean second one Homer? Bart isn't going to stay in his crib. He doesn't need it.
HOMER: Oh yeah right.
DR. HIBBERT takes MARGE off the ultra scanner. They arrive home. GRAMPA is pulling on BART who is clinging to his crib.
HOMER: Dad. What's going on?
GRAMPA: Your boy won't let go of his crib
MARGE: Bart, from now on the babies sleep in the crib.
BART: Crib, crib, I'm a baby.
HOMER: <SIGH> I know how to handle this. Dad, Marge, lets go. Leave the little baby, with his little crib.
HOMER, MARGE and GRAMPA leave the room. BART is still holding onto the crib, HOMER runs back in pulling on BART
LISA <NARRATE>: I guess Bart loved that crib too much...
We see HOMER in the garage with planks of wood. We then see BART in a spooky looking clown bed.
HOMER: I know you like clowns so I made you this bed.
BART stares at the clown bed. A voice over is heard
CLOWN BED: If you should die before you wake... <EVIL LAUGH
BART starts to shake in fear. In the living room a month later, BART is on the floor still shaking, HOMER is watching TV and MARGE is on the couch
BART: Cant sleep, clown'll eat me. Cant sleep, clown'll eat me.
MARGE: Homie. I think the babies are coming.
HOMER: Wow. A free burger and two babies. Could this be the happiest day of my life?
KENT BROKMAN <ON TV>: Coming up next. An hour long episode of "Mama's Family"
HOMER: Yes.
With HOMER and MARGE in the car, they drop BART off at FLANDERS'S house
FLANDERS: We'll take good care of your boy Simpson. Enjoy the miracle of creation!
HOMER: Shut up Flanders.
HOMER drives away
FLANDERS: So boys what do you want to play?
ROD AND TODD: Good Samaritan.
At the Hospital, MARGE has given birth to go healthy baby girls
HIBBERT: So Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, have you thought on names yet?
MARGE: Yeah. We agreed on Lisa and Margaret.
HIBBERT: Very Well.
HOMER: But we want it to be easier, well call Margaret "Maggie".
HIBBERT: Sounds decent enough. I'll fill out the birth certificates.
HOMER: But doc. These two are so alike I can't tell them apart.
HIBBERT: Oh in that case here, take this ribbon. I've give it to Marge. Let her decide which baby gets it.
MARGE leans over and places the ribbon in MAGGIE's hair.
MARGE: There we go. We can now tell the difference between Lisa and Maggie.
HOMER: That's a relief.
LISA <NARRATE>: Of course... Bart never did like us being there.
HOMER and MARGE are at home, sitting in a room. MARGE has LISA in one arm and MAGGIE in the other. HOMER pops his head outside of the door. Where BART is waiting
HOMER: Bart there's two girls in here you want to meet you.
HOMER goes back inside and BART walks up to MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE
MARGE: Well Bart, what do you think of your little sisters?
BART: <To both LISA and MAGGIE> I hate you.
At night, HOMER is putting LISA and MAGGIE to bed, we see him by LISA's crib
HOMER: Good night honey
HOMER leaves, closing the door. BART is revealed, he has a pair of scissors.
BART: Hello, Lisa. Hello, Maggie.
BART cuts their hair. MARGE comes in with bottles a little later.
MARGE: Lisa, Maggie, its time for your feed--
MARGE sees BART and LISA in the crib. LISA has no hair.
MARGE: <SCREAMS>
BART: Who's cuter now?
LISA <NARRATES>: That should be about it for what Bart did to us. Let's skip onto my first word.
BART is in his messy room putting a bindle together. LISA toddles in
BART: I liked it when it was just me, mom and Homer. You wrecked everything. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
BART starts to walk for the door.
LISA: Bart.
BART freezes
BART: What did you say?
LISA: Bart.
BART: Sovering Succotash. You can talk.
BART picks LISA up
LISA: Uh...
BART runs into the living room holding LISA. HOMER and MARGE are on the couch.
BART: Mom, Dad, she can talk, say it again Lis.
LISA: Bart. Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart.
BART: I'm her first word.
MARGE: Well I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon.
BART: Wow. Lisa, can you say "mommy"?
LISA: Mommy.
BART: Can you say "David Hasslehoff"?
LISA: Dava Hassahoff
HOMER: Can you say "daddy"?
LISA: Homer.
HOMER: No sweetie. Daddy.
LISA stares blankly at HOMER
LISA: Homer.
HOMER: D'oh!
LISA <NARRATES> A few days later, Maggie said her first word, Dad got what he wanted, and her first word was daddy. Since I said my first word, Bart has been nicer to me and to Maggie. But it all went pear shaped for us eight years on...
At the nuclear power plant, Homer is walking down the hall, where a leaking radioactive tube falls on him; his skin turns green and is given a high dosage of Radiation poisoning. At home MARGE hears the phone ring she answers it.
MARGE: Hello? <Gasp> He is? I'll be there as soon as I can. <MARGE hangs up, she then phones the school> Principal Skinner, could you call Bart, Lisa and Maggie to your office, their father is in hospital, I'll be there right away. <Pause> Thanks.
In school, PRINCIPAL SKINNER makes a PA announcement.
SKINNER: Could the following students please come to my office right away? Bart Simpson.
BART <THINKING>: But I haven't done anything bad yet.
CUT TO LISA'S CLASS
SKINNER: Lisa Simpson.
LISA <THINKING>: Something's not right.
SKINNER: And Maggie Simpson
All three leave their classrooms; BART meets up with LISA and MAGGIE in the halls.
MAGGIE: Bart, what's going on?
BART: I don't know.
LISA: It must be big if all three of us are involved.
They walk up into Principal Skinner's office. They see MARGE there
BART LISA AND MAGGIE: MOM?!
SKINNER: I'll leave you four alone.
PRINCIPAL SKINNER leaves the room
MAGGIE: Mom, what are you doing here?
MARGE: Kids, I'm afraid I have some bad news.
BART: What is it mom?
MARGE: Kids, your father has had an accident at the plant.
BART: He's had loads of accidents. It's not a big deal.
MARGE: This one is Bart. He's in hospital with radiation poisoning.
BART: What?
MARGE: Mr. Burns refuses to pay us while Homer is in hospital.
BART: Are you going to sue Mr. Burns?
MARGE: Of course. We need money to pay for a lawyer, that's around $8,000.
MAGGIE: This does give a dilemma. How are we going to raise that money? I think that there is only one option.
MARGE: What's that Maggie?
MAGGIE: Lisa and I get jobs.
MARGE: I don't know about that honey.
MAGGIE: But we're already one grade ahead. I think that we can drop out for a couple of months.
MARGE: I think that we should hear from Principal Skinner.
BART: Good idea mom. I'll call him.
BART picks up SKINNER's PA
BART: Principal Skinner, we need you in your office.
PRICIPAL SKINNER runs back to his office. He arrives out of breath
SKINNER: What <Gasp> is it Bart?
MARGE: Principal Skinner, we've been talking and we need Lisa and Maggie to drop out of school for a few months while we raise money to hire a lawyer.
SKINNER: Are they sure that they want to do it?
MAGGIE: Yes. Well, at least I am. Lisa?
LISA: Well. If it'll help the family.
SKINNER: Very well. Its standard procedure to say this when people drop-out. Lisa and Maggie Simpson, you are hereby suspended from Springfield Elementary. Don't worry. That's just a cover story.
LISA: That's a relief.
MARGE: Bart, you can return to class.
BART: Okay mom.
MARGE: Lisa, Maggie lets go home.
BART heads back off to class. MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE leave to go home, as they leave, MILHOUSE sees them leaving. At recess... MILHOUSE is talking to BART
MILHOUSE: Hey Bart. I saw your sisters leaving with your mom shortly before you came back from Principal Skinner's office. What happened?
BART: Nothing don't worry about it Milhouse.
MILHOUSE: But if they were involved, something isn't right.
BART: Alright, alright. They've both been suspended.
MILHOUSE: Now that isn't right.
BART: They took the rat for something. I'll be able to make it up to them later.
MILHOUSE: You'd better.
LISA <NARRATES>: Bart never did tell Milhouse what really happened. What we were more concerned about was getting Maggie and me jobs.
MAGGIE: Lisa! Lisa! Here's a place.
MAGGIE was looking a local newspaper.
LISA: Maggie, I don't know. I'm not sure I want to be a cocktail waitress.
MAGGIE: I know Lisa. I don't like it any more than you do, but money is money.
LISA: But isn't it a little grown up for us?
MAGGIE: Lisa. You just have to trust me. This is only job opening for us both.
LISA: Okay Maggie. If you think it will help.
MAGGIE: And it looks like the interview is today. We'd better get going. <YELLS> Mom! We need a ride to a job interview.
MARGE comes in
MARGE: Already?
MAGGIE: It's a different way of applying I guess. It's on Elm Street.
MARGE: That's a bad area, are you sure?
LISA: We don't really have a choice. We have to go in for this job.
MARGE: Okay kids. If you're both sure.
MARGE takes them to the club on Elm Street. They are taken in, and they wait outside the interviewer's office.
MAGGIE: Hey, Lis, does something strike you as odd?
LISA: No. Why?
MAGGIE: Wouldn't there normally be all sorts of girls coming to take this job?
LISA: I guess you're right.
A MAN yells from the next room, the man is Mr. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Next!
MAGGIE: Oooh. That's us Lisa.
LISA and MAGGIE walk into the room. MR. SWINDLER looks at them awkwardly.
SWINDLER: Uh. Hello Girls. Could you please state your names?
LISA: Lisa Simpson
MAGGIE: Maggie Simpson
MR. SWINDLER writes that down
SWINDLER: And how old are you?
LISA: Eight.
MR. SWINDLER writes that down
SWINDLER: What's your date of birth?
MAGGIE: December 17th 1984
MR. SWINDLER writes that down
SWINDLER: Uh-huh. And what brings two second graders...
MAGGIE: Uh. That's third graders, we were skipped ahead a grade.
SWINDLER: Okay, anyway, why do you want to work here at such a young age?
LISA: Well, we've had a little bit of a family crisis.
SWINDLER: Oh. Well, I don't want to dig too deep into your family issues, I'm sure you girls know what you're doing. So I won't ask why you're getting a job. Anyway, I would like to know a little about you, and you'll obviously have no work experience before. What hobbies do you have?
LISA: Well, I play the sax a lot.
MAGGIE: Yeah, me too. I also like to skateboard and play video games.
SWINDLER: Seems like you have quite a lot in common beside from your looks. I think I could have you two youthful girls working here. You've got the job. I'll pay each of you $300 per month plus tips and overtime. Can you start now?
LISA: Now? We never anticipated that.
MAGGIE: We'll be delighted.
SWINDLER: Splendid. Come with me girls. <MR. SWINDER gets up and takes LISA and MAGGIE to a changing room> This is where you'll change and on the hangers there are the dresses you'll have to wear. I'm afraid we have to have a dress-code.
MAGGIE: It's okay.
LISA: Can we call our mom? While we get changed.
SWINDLER: Sure. <Hands LISA a cell phone> You can use my cell phone. Meet in my office when you're done.
LISA: Okay sir.
LISA dials MARGE's number; Maggie gets changed into one of the dresses.
LISA: Mom?
MARGE <VOICE OVER>: Lisa! Did you get the job?
LISA: Yes. We got the job.
MARGE <VOICE OVER>: That's wonderful.
LISA: Yeah. We get $300 a month each, plus tip, plus overtime.
MARGE <VOICE OVER>: That's even better!
LISA: Anyway mom. I'd better go.
MARGE: Okay honey. See you when I come to pick you up.
LISA: Okay mom.
LISA hangs the phone up. MAGGIE is fully dressed in her cocktail dress.
MAGGIE: C'mon Lis.
LISA: Alright, Alright.
LISA puts the cocktail dress on. They then go to Mr. Swindler's office.
SWINDLER: Ah, girls, I see you're ready.
LISA hands him his cell phone.
SWINDLER: Thanks Lisa. It is Lisa right?
LISA: Yeah.
SWINDLER: Good. It's hard to tell you two apart when dressed like that.
LISA: It's not a surprise. But there is an easier way.
MAGGIE: The ribbon. I'm the one with the ribbon. It was sort of a "given at birth" thing, but I decided to keep it.
SWINDLER: I see. Anyway, I feel that if we have you girls working here, we may get into a spot of bother with Child Labor, so today you girls can have the rest off and think of ways you can look older, without actually being older.
LISA: Okay sir.
SWINDLER: Please, you can call me Mr. Swindler if you want or Mike.
LISA: Okay. Mike. Anyway, we'd need to call our mom again, to come pick us up.
SWINDLER: Sure. <Hands his cell phone to MAGGIE, she dials the number for the Simpson house.
MAGGIE: Mom. Can we have a ride home?
MARGE <VOICE OVER>: I'll be right there.
MARGE hangs up
MAGGIE: Well it'd be a while before mom arrives. <Hands phone back
SWINDLER: Well, I could show you around the club while we wait for your mom.
LISA: That really would help.
SWINDLER: Okay. Follow me.
MR. SWINDLER shows them around. Shortly after they get back to MR. SWINDER's office, MARGE honks her horn
LISA: That's mom. We'd better go. Thanks for everything Mr. Swindler.
SWINDLER: My pleasure Lisa.
LISA and MAGGIE get in MARGE's car. She drives off
MARGE: What are you girls wearing?
MAGGIE: Our uniform.
MARGE: Hrrrmmm... I'd rather you didn't have to but if it's your uniform.
MAGGIE: He also said that we'd have to look older.
LISA: But we don't have any ideas.
MARGE: Hmm... How about we go to the mall have a look around. Bart's still in school and it'll be several hours before he finishes.
LISA: Okay.
MAGGIE: Sounds good to me.
MARGE: But first we need to think on what to get. All I have to make you girls look older is lipstick and high heals.
MAGGIE: Well, its better than nothing. We had no ideas.
At the mall, MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE walk into a women's shoe shop. MARGE shows them various high healed shoes. LISA spots a pair which are colored red and MAGGIE a pair in blue.
LISA & MAGGIE: These look nice.
MARGE: Try them on then.
LISA and MAGGIE try them on, they fit, LISA and MAGGIE like them
MARGE: How are they?
LISA: I like these.
MAGGIE: Me too.
MARGE: Okay. Uh, sir... <THE SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN comes up to MARGE>
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Can I help you ma'am?
MARGE: Yes. We'd like to buy these two pairs of shoes.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: What size?
MARGE: Three.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Okay.
The SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN walks away to the back room to find the appropriate pairs of shoes, LISA and MAGGIE take off the samples and put them back on the shelf. Within five minutes he comes back, he has two boxes.
SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Could you please come up to the counter?
MARGE: Okay. C'mon girls.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE go up to the counter to pay for the shoes
SALESMAN: That'll be $70 please.
MARGE hands them the money. The SALESMAN places the two boxes into a bag.
MARGE: Okay. Let's go.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE go up stairs and enter a cosmetics shop
MARGE: Now girls, you're obviously going to want lipstick that will make you look good.
LISA: Obviously mom.
MARGE finds two sticks, one in blue, and one in red
MARGE: Try these on.
MAGGIE: Uh... Maybe later.
MARGE: Okay. We'll be able to find out later. Let's just get them.
SALESWOMAN: That'll be two dollars please.
MARGE hands over the money.
MARGE: Okay let's go pick up Bart.
MARGE pulls into the school. BART gets into the car. MARGE drives away
BART: What the hell are you two wearing?
LISA: Never you mind Bart.
MAGGIE: These are just our work uniforms.
BART: That was fast.
MAGGIE: So.
BART: Nothing.
They arrive home. MARGE goes into the kitchen to make dinner. LISA and MAGGIE try on their new shoes. BART is also with them.
BART: So why did you get high heals?
MAGGIE: Our boss said that we had to look more grown up, without actually being older, this is one of the best ways we thought we could.
LISA tries to move while in her high heals but falls over
LISA: It's hopeless.
BART: There's nothing to it. Gimme those heals.
BART puts LISA's heals on and starts walking across the room
BART: Heal, toe, heal, toe, heal, toe.
LISA: Do you really think that I can do it?
BART: I'm beginning to think I can do it. Now you try.
BART takes LISA's heals off and LISA puts them back on, walking across the room, she remembers what BART said.
LISA: Heal, toe, heal, toe, heal, toe. Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of it.
BART: But remember you're going to have to walk around faster as well. So try speeding up.
LISA does, and she keeps her balance
BART: Why don't you try Maggie?
MAGGIE starts to walk across the room.
MAGGIE: Heal, toe, heal, toe, heal, toe. Hey, I think I've got it too.
BART: Good job.
MARGE <Yelling from the next room>: Dinner's ready.
LISA <NARRATE>: The next day, we set out to start our first full day of work. I was a little worried as to what could happen, but Maggie was skeptical about the whole idea. Bart still had to go to school though, so at least one Simpson was still getting an education.
SWINDLER: Ah, Girls, have you taken to my suggestion.
LISA: Yes, Mr. Swindler. We've got everything we need here.
SWINDLER: Good. We'll you'd better go get changed, and meet me in my office, I'll tell you were you're stationed there.
LISA: Okay.
LISA and MAGGIE leave to go get changed in the changing room. They go back to MR. SWINDLER's office, wearing their dress, lipstick & heals. Keeping in mind the "Heal, toe" theory that BART thought them
LISA & MAGGIE <THINKING>: Heal, toe, heal, toe, heal toe
SWINDLER: Ah, you both look good like that, the high heals and make-up works.
LISA: Thanks. Our brother helped us out.
SWINDLER: Your brother?
LISA: He's a girl in heart.
SWINDLER: I see. Anyway, Lisa, you're placed in the South Bar, and Maggie you're in the North. Dress code is the same all over the club. I'll show you there.
LISA, MAGGIE and MR SWINDLER leave and head for the South Bar.
SWINDLER: This is where you'll be stationed Lisa. It doesn't get too crowded so there shouldn't be too much to worry about, plus the band does play here directly, so you may get loud beats every now and again, but being a sax player I'm sure you're used to loud music.
LISA: Yeah, I used to be in the school band.
SWINDLER: That's good. Now Maggie lets head off to the North Bar, where you'll be stationed.
MAGGIE: Okay.
LISA, MAGGIE and MR SWINDLER head to the North Bar.
SWINDLER: This is where you'll be stationed Maggie. It does get a little busier here, so Lisa, you can come in here and help when needed, you two can communicate using these.
MR. SWINDLER hands them each a small device.
MAGGIE: What is this thing?
SWINDLER: It's called a codec. It was a science project I made when I was in High School. It got the idea from one of my favorite computer games Metal Gear. Here, I'll set them up for you.
He does.
SWINDLER: You're all set. Lisa your frequency is 141.80 and Maggie yours is 141.12, if you need to talk to me, my frequency is 140.85. To use the codec, press this button which dangles long enough to hide somewhere in your dress. We someone wants to contact you press the button to take the call, the codec's receiver directly stimulates the small bones of your ear, and no one but you will be able to hear it.
LISA and MAGGIE place their codec in their ear and hide the button receiver in their dress somewhere.
SWINDLER: Go ahead try it out.
LISA goes into codec mode and calls 140.96, MAGGIE answers the call.
LISA: Do you read me Maggie?
MAGGIE: Loud and clear Lisa.
LISA exits codec mode
LISA <NARRATES>: Okay, having a job is well and good, but those codec things were a bit much. But they did come in handy for when Maggie, Mr. Swindler and I need to talk and were in three separate places. Like what happened the following week.
MR SWINDLER goes into codec mode, calling Lisa and Maggie.
SWINDER: Girls, we've got a bit of a crisis. The band we were going to have play tonight cancelled, we need someone to take their place.
MAGGIE: We'd probably be able to take their place.
SWINDLER: Really?
LISA: Yeah, but we'd need my sax.
MAGGIE: Don't forget about Bart.
LISA: Oh yeah. We've been playing "Band" recently.
SWINDLER: That's great. You've both pretty much saved my bacon. I'll be able to take you home.
MAGGIE: But what about the Beers and Nuts.
SWINDLER: Don't worry about them; our bartenders will be able to handle it. Come to my office as soon as possible.
LISA and MAGGIE exit codec mode and MAGGIE rush to MR. SWINDLER's office.
SWINDLER: Thanks for doing this girls. I'll pay you double for this, and I'll give Bart two hundred bucks as well.
LISA: Wow. Thanks.
SWINDLER: Now let's get you home.
MR. SWINDLER drives LISA and MAGGIE home. BART is in his bedroom, while LISA gets her sax, MAGGIE speaks with BART
BART: What are you two doing home so soon?
MAGGIE: Bart, we need your help.
BART: What for?
MAGGIE: Mr. Swindler needs us to perform in the club tonight.
BART: Maggie, I'm not so sure... I've got friends coming round...
MAGGIE: Mr. Swindler will pay us double and give you two hundred bucks.
BART: 200 Smackers? Deal. Let me grab my electric guitar.
MAGGIE: I knew that you'd be up for it.
MAGGIE goes into codec mode calls MR. SWINDLER
MAGGIE: Mr. Swindler, Bart is getting his electric guitar and Lisa is getting her sax. We'll be down in five minutes once we've gathered our score sheets
SWINDLER: Okay Maggie.
MAGGIE exits codec mode. BART, LISA and MAGGIE grab several score sheets. And head out of the door. BART yells to MARGE
BART: Mom, going to the club with Lisa and Maggie, not back soon avenge death.
MARGE: Okay honey.
LISA <NARRATE>: Mom didn't even realize that we had arrived home, maybe it was because dad wasn't around she begun to become a lot like him
MR SWINDLER drove BART, LISA and MAGGIE back to the club. The three got up on stage.
LISA <NARRATE>: When we were on strange, it felt a little awkward, but we knew we had to do it. Bart told us that it was just another game; we were only playing the songs in my room. Only with a larger crowd.
MAGGIE: This is a song that was written by my dad, who is critically ill in hospital from radiation poisoning.
<SINGING> Baby on Board
How I'm adored
That sign on my car's window pane
Bounce in my step
Loaded with pep
Coz I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square
Friend I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you its mighty nice
Each trip is a trip to paradise
With my baby on board.
MAGGIE gets a call on her codec
SWINDLER: Maggie, that song was just great.
MAGGIE: Thanks.
SWINDLER: Who wrote that?
MAGGIE: Our dad. He was one of the Be'Sharps.
SWINDLER: I thought that song sounded familiar.
MAGGIE exits codec mode
LISA: This next song is written by me, and it shows my emotion when I wrote it.
<SINGING> I got this bratty brother
He bugs me everyday
And this very morning my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My dad acts like he belongs
He belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
In grade number three.
LISA goes into codec mode.
SWINDLER: That was great Lisa and I think it will do for tonight. Could you three come to my office before you go home?
LISA: Okay.
SWINDLER: Oh, and Bart can hang around if he wants. He can have free drinks. I'll let all of the staff know. But obviously no alcohol. You girls take a break.
LISA: Okay
LISA exits codec mode
LISA: Okay. We can get off stage now.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE get off stage, they sit at a near by table.
LISA: BART, MAGGIE, when we're about to go home we have to go to Mr. Swindler's office.
BART: But I don't know where that is.
MAGGIE: No. But we do, we'll be able to take you there.
LISA: He also said that Bart gets free drinks for tonight.
BART: Really? Cool.
LISA: But no beer.
BART: Awww...
Hours Pass. BART, LISA and MAGGIE are about to leave. MARGE is waiting outside. The three head into MR. SWINDLER's office.
SWINDLER: Well as promised, here is the money. Lisa, $300, Maggie $300 and for Bart, $200.
LISA <NARRATE>: Dad was slowly making a natural recovery in hospital but Dr. Hibbert was working around the clock to try and find an antidote with the help from Professor Frink.
In the hospital, DR. HIBBERT is with PROFESSOR FRINK to try and figure out an antidote, they are surrounded by beakers and test tubes
HIBBERT: How are we doing here professor?
FRINK: Well we're almost there.
HIBBERT: He's stable at the moment, and is making a slow and natural recovery. But it will take months for him to restore normally.
FRINK: We'll do what we can. I think that we're almost there.
HIBBERT leaves the room
LISA <NARRATES>: It only took a month for Professor Frink to get the antidote fully complete. And by this point we were only $1,000 from the $8,000 target to pay for a lawyer. Bart was hanging around the club with us and helped us out a little. Mr. Swindler got us playing on stage a bit more.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE are on stage BART is performing DO THE BARTMAN, with back up musicians
LISA <NARRATES>: Bart had helped us earn the $1,000 in that night alone. When Mr. Swindler handed over the money on first of the month we rushed home and gave the money to mom, she instantly phoned up Lionel Hutz to commence court proceedings. Maggie and I didn't go to the case because we had to continue working at the club. As tight Mr. Burns refused to pay our dad while the proceedings were going on. The jury didn't take long for them to Mr. Burns guilty he was sentenced to pay $3,000,000 in compensation, $8,000 for the lawyer and $60,000 to compensate for the time we had to pull out of school for.
MARGE phones up MR. SWINDLER
MARGE: Yes, hello, is this Mr. Mike Swindler?
SWINDLER: Yes.
MARGE: Hello, this is Mrs. Marge Simpson, Lisa and Maggie's mother. Could I please speak with them?
SWINDLER: Sure. Give me a minute.
SWINDLER goes into codec mode and calls LISA and MAGGIE
SWINDLER: Lisa? Maggie? Do you read?
LISA: Loud and Clear.
MAGGIE: I hear you.
SWINDLER: Could you both come to my office, your mother is on the phone.
LISA: Okay.
LISA and MAGGIE exit codec mode. They run to MR. SWINDLER's office.
SWINDLER: Okay, I'm handing you over to Lisa now Mrs. Simpson.
MARGE: Thank you.
MR. SWINDLER hands the phone over to LISA
LISA: Mom?
MARGE: Lisa, I have great news. We've won the case.
LISA: Mom, that's wonderful.
MARGE: We got $3,568,000
LISA: That's great.
MARGE: Can you get the rest of the day off?
LISA: Not sure, we'll have to ask Mr. Swindler.
MARGE: Okay.
LISA takes her hand away from the phone
LISA: Mr. Swindler, we've won the case, can we have the rest of the day off?
SWINDLER: Sure, I'll be able to find someone to fill in for you.
LISA: Thanks
LISA turns back to the phone.
LISA: Yeah. Mom, we can have the day off.
MARGE: Great, we will be there to pick you up right away.
LISA: Okay mom.
LISA hangs the phone up
LISA: Maggie, WE WON!
MAGGIE: That's great news!
LISA and MAGGIE start dancing around in circles
SWINDLER: I'm proud of you girls. You both set out to do something and you achieved it. How much did you get?
LISA: $3,568,000
SWINDLER: That's great.
LISA and MAGGIE stop dancing
SWINDLER: I guess that you'll be going back to school.
LISA: Yeah. I guess so.
MARGE honks her horn
LISA: Oooh. That's our mom.
LISA and MAGGIE get into MARGE's car. HOMER doesn't know anything about LISA and MAGGIE getting a job, MARGE drives off
HOMER: What are you two wearing?
MAGGIE: These are our work uniforms.
HOMER: Work uniforms? You mean you two got jobs?
MAGGIE: How else did we pay for the lawyer?
HOMER: Oh. Well, you two do look kind of cute like that.
LISA giggles
LISA: Anyway, since we've won the case, I think I'll go back to school.
MARGE: That's a sensible idea Lisa. Maggie you should do it too.
MAGGIE: You'd think so. But I think that I will continue to work for Mr. Swindler.
MARGE: No you won't young lady; you will go to school and get an education.
MAGGIE: But mom...
HOMER: Your mothers right honey. You don't know what you'll want to be when you grow up.
MAGGIE: But I have a good job already. I had fun.
BART: Mom's right Maggie. You have potential to do what you want, don't just take the first job that comes your way.
LISA: Yeah, Maggie, for the first time, Bart actually makes sense. I know you enjoyed working at the club, I did too, but you have potential to do what you want, you could be a lawyer, a graphic designer, or something or another.
MAGGIE: I've made up my mind, and no one is going to change it.
LISA <NARRATE>: We all did try to get her to change her mind. But we all failed. I went back to school, and Maggie stayed out and continued to work at the club, her attitude begun to change, she let her hair down, and her tastes changed from blue to red, she was becoming more like me, if it wasn't for the fact that she let her hair down, no one could tell us apart. But I got an idea to get her to go back to school...
In the SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM, HOMER, MARGE, and BART are there watching TV. LISA runs in from upstairs
LISA: I've got it!
HOMER: Got what?
LISA: How we can get Maggie to go back to school.
HOMER: Oh. How?
LISA: I can ask Mr. Swindler to fire her.
MARGE: It's worth a shot.
They head to the club, HOMER, MARGE, BART and LISA find a table, where MAGGIE walks up to collect what drinks they want, she drops her notepad in shock
MAGGIE: Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?
HOMER: What? Can't your old man have a drink with his family?
MAGGIE: But here? What happened to Moe's?
HOMER: For some reason Moe's is closed tonight.
Suddenly MR. SWINDLER appears behind her
SWINDLER: Maggie, what have I said about talking to the customers?
MAGGIE: But Mr. Swindler...
SWINDLER: No buts...
HOMER: It just so happens I'm her father.
SWINDLER: The drunken gambler?
HOMER: That's right? Who might you be?
SWINDLER: I'm her boss. Bart, Lisa! I didn't see you two there!
LISA: No Problem Mr. Swindler. Could you and I please go into your office, I have something I want to ask you.
SWINDLER: Sure.
SWINDLER and LISA leave
MAGGIE: So what will it be?
HOMER: I'll have a Duff.
MAGGIE: Uh, dad, we don't have Duff here.
HOMER: Well then give me whatever beer you serve.
MARGE: Nothing for me Maggie, I'm driving.
MAGGIE: Bart?
BART: Buzz.
MAGGIE: Okay. I'll bring Lisa one of those too.
MAGGIE walks over to the bar
MAGGIE: Steph, Two Buzz Cola's and a Fudd, Table 33. But bear in mind those people on that table are my family.
STEPH: Okay Maggie.
In SWINDLERs office
SWINDLER: So Lisa, what is it you wanted to ask me? Come to take your old place back.
LISA: Sorry, Mr. Swindler, but no. I've come here about Maggie
SWINDLER: Oh, well, your place is always open if you need it
LISA: Thanks. But really I've come here to ask a favor from you.
SWINDLER: Oh. What sort of a favor?
LISA: Have you noticed a change in my sister?
SWINDLER: No, not really except her hair and her make-up
LISA: Hmmmm... Must be something only the family can tell. Anyway, she's been spending more time here, and she's been spending a lot of money on the make up you mentioned. She's even dropped out of school.
SWINDLER: Oh my lord, I can't believe that, she has so much to live for.
LISA: I know, but she won't listen to us. Could you do something for us?
SWINDLER: I might, but it depends on what it is.
LISA: Fire her.
SWINDLER: WHAT!?
LISA: It's the only way Mr. Swindler.
SWINDLER: Okay. I'll see what I can do. But I have a favor to ask you. Can you ask your brother and yourself to play tonight; I'll pay each of you $500.
LISA: Sure. We've got emotion to give. And I know the song we've been writing.
SWINDLER: Thanks. Also, in case I need you, here's your old codec back.
LISA: You still use those?
SWINDLER: Yes. They really do come in handy.
LISA: Yeah, they did.
SWINDLER: Your frequency is the same from before. 141.80.
LISA: Thank you sir.
SWINDLER: If you need to use the codec, you know how it works.
LISA: Thank you sir.
SWINDLER: You'll obviously have to go speak with Bart. Just remember, I will give you $500 each.
LISA: Of course.
LISA leaves MR. SWINDLERs office, and heads back to the bar area where HOMER, MARGE and BART are.
LISA: Bart, fancy performing tonight?
BART: Sorry Lisa, not tonight.
LISA: You'll get $500.
BART: Really, count me in.
LISA: I knew you'd join me.
LISA and BART get up on stage, (the tune to "Anyone Else" starts to play.)
LISA: Hey, what are you hiding?
Under that funny hair
I know the lights are on
But there's nobody there
I need a new life
I need a new next of kin
So I've got news for you
Brother, I'm trading you in
BART & LISA: For anyone else
In the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
LISA: Somebody who'd be a friend in need
Somebody who would care about me
BART & LISA: Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
BART: <WHISTLE>
Hey, Little Miss perfect who made you the queen?
LISA gets a codec call from MR. SWINDLER
SWINDLER: Lisa, you don't need to reply to me, but I have just fired Maggie. She was a bit tearful; expect her to run by shortly.
BART: Who said it was cool to be so squeaky clean
Aw... man
I need a play-mate
Someone who knows how to have some fun
So I've got news for you
Sister your time has come
Your time has come
BART & LISA: Anyone else
In the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
Somebody who's got a radical mind
Over the edge and way outta line.
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
LISA: I'm gonna trade you in.
Hmmm... Yea.... I'm gonna trade you in
You know you're too much to take,
You're completely deranged
I'd sell you for a dime
And give nine cents change
BART: I wouldn't take any money
That's a losing bet
MAGGIE runs past BART and LISA crying, LISA points to MARGE to chase after MAGGIE, MARGE acknowledges and runs after her.
BART: I'd trade you in for anyone I could get
LISA: Anything I could get
BART: Anytime I could get it
LISA: Anywhere I could get it.
BART & LISA: Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
BART: Somebody who'd be a friend in need
LISA: Somebody who would care about me
BART & LISA: Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do
BART: Somebody who'd be a friend in need
LISA: Somebody who would care about me
BART & LISA: Anyone else in the world I'd rather have than you
Anyone else in the whole wide world would do.
Outside with MAGGIE and MARGE, MAGGIE is sitting on the steps crying
MARGE: Honey, what's wrong?
MAGGIE: Mom Mr. Swindler just fired me.
MARGE: Hmmm... maybe it's for your own good.
MAGGIE: What do you mean?
MARGE: Well, you have been spending a lot of time here, and you did drop out of school.
MAGGIE: But how will school help me? I have everything I need already
MARGE: Honey, you don't know what you're going to be when you grow up; you knew that this job was only so that we could pay for the lawyer.
HOMER comes out to see what's going on.
HOMER: Your mothers right honey, you have so much to live for, you could get an even better job in future, maybe a journalist, graphic designer or something, just like Lisa said.
MAGGIE: Well, I guess you guys are right.
HOMER: Now let's go inside and let's see your brother and sister perform.
MAGGIE: Okay dad.
HOMER, MARGE and MAGGIE head back into the bar area. Where BART and LISA are performing. MAGGIE walks up to LISA.
MAGGIE: Hey Lis, can I perform with you?
LISA: Of course Maggie. What song shall we do?
MAGGIE: How about the one that we've been doing recently.
LISA: Sisters are doing it for themselves?
MAGGIE: Yeah, that's the one.
LISA: Okay.
MUSIC STARTS
LISA: I'm so excited, this is great!
Now there was a time
When we used to say
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman
MAGGIE: But oh, times have changed
You know it's no longer true
We're coming out of the kitchen
Because there's something we've forgot to say to you
PATTY AND SELMA walk in and sit next to HOMER and MARGE
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Oh yeah!
MAGGIE: Standing on their own two feet and ringin on their own bells
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Now this is a song
To celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
MAGGIE: Mama and her daughter
And all of their daughters too
LISA & MAGGIE: Woman to woman
MAGGIE: We're all singing along with you
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Standing on their own two feet and ringin on their own bells
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
MAGGIE: And we ain't makin stories
No we ain't layin' plans
A man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man, yeah
LISA: This is incredible female power
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: The inferior sex, has gone into exterior
MAGGIE: We got doctors, lawyers, and politicians too, yeah
Hey now everybody, take a look around
LISA & MAGGIE: Can ya see, can ya see, can ya see
MAGGIE: There's a woman standing right next to you
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Standin on their own two feet and ringin' on their own bells
LISA: Aunt Patty, aunt Selma, come sing!
PATTY and SELMA get on stage
LISA, MAGGIE, PATTY AND SELMA: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Standin on their own two feet and ringin' on their own bells
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
MAGGIE: Well that went good.
LISA: Yeah, my voice is sore now.
MAGGIE: Mine too.
BART: Let's get a drink.
MAGGIE: I'll get them.
MAGGIE walks over to the bar where STEPH is
MAGGIE: Can we have a Buzz Cola over at Table 33 Steph?
STEPH: Okay, Maggie.
MAGGIE joins HOMER, MARGE, BART and LISA at the table.
HOMER: This is what life is all about. Drinking beer or cola and singing songs with your family.
MARGE: Makes you think
BART: You wish.
LISA: We've been doing all the signing. Why don't you to go sing a song.
MAGGIE: Yeah, dad wrote a song.
HOMER: Did I?
MAGGIE: Remember shortly before the Be'Sharps split up.
HOMER: You mean "Every Summer with you". C'mon Marge. I need someone to sing it with.
MARGE: Okay Homie.
MARGE and HOMER get up on the stage
HOMER: Don't have a cabin in the Pocinno's
MARGE: Don't have a place at the beach.
HOMER: I'd love to shuffle off to Buffalo
MARGE: It's just a little out of our reach
HOMER: Oh... But I don't need a holiday
As long as you're here with me
HOMER & MARGE: Winters gone its spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every summer with you
Every summer with you
MARGE: Hey Homie, I had an idea, how about this
Atlantic City by the shiny sea
HOMER: Yeah, it's just a little too far away
MARGE: Oh well, how about Orlando in a new RV
HOMER: I like it, but who's gonna pay?
MARGE: You're right. It doesn't matter where we go
It doesn't matter if we stay
HOMER & MARGE: Winters gone its spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every summer with you
Every summer with you
MARGE: And we don't let our troubles get in the way
We'll stay together come what may
We don't care if it's a cloudy day
Its only weather
HOMER: And later on when we're old and grey
And lady luck has finally come our way
We'll take a trip to San Diego Bay
HOMER & MARGE: Together.
HOMER: Oh it'll be great Marge
MARGE: Oh it'll be so nice.
HOMER: Sea World. And they have a zoo with more apes than you can imagine.
MARGE: and I could get a hotdog on a stick
HOMER: Yes. And they have a big mall
MARGE: It doesn't matter what we do
HOMER: It doesn't matter where we stay
HOMER & MARGE: Winters gone its spring again
One thing I know is true
All my life I want to spend
Every summer with you
Every summer with you
MARGE: Every summer with you
HOMER: Every summer with you
MARGE: With you
HOMER: in the Spring, or the winter or fall
MARGE: Every summer with you.
HOMER: You know Marge...
MARGE: What Homie?
HOMER: we have enough money to go to the Springfield Mystery spot for the weekend.
MARGE: I'm right behind you, where is it?
HOMER: Let's see. Take Route 35 and we'll stop here to eat, then we'll get off at six, and stop there to eat... and then we'll stop here to eat...
HOMER: Think that will do for us tonight. Let's just finish our drinks and go home
MARGE: I agree Homer.
HOMER and MARGE return to the table
HOMER: Kids, finish your drinks, then we can go home.
BART, LISA and MAGGIE start drinking quickly.
LISA: But we have to see Mr. Swindler before we leave.
MAGGIE: What? Why?
LISA: So we can get our pay.
MAGGIE: What pay?
BART: Uh. For the singing. 1000 smackers.
MAGGIE: Well, he does pay everyone who sings on stage. So I guess its okay. Let's go.
LISA: Mom, dad, you guys wait in the car, while we go to Mr. Swindler's office.
MARGE: Okay Honey.
HOMER and MARGE go out to the car; BART, LISA and MAGGIE go to MR. SWINDLER's office
SWINDLER: Ah, Simpsons, I see that you're all ready to go.
LISA: Yeah.
SWINDLER: As promised here is an envelope containing $1,000. And for Maggie, here is her pay for the current month, plus a little extra.
MAGGIE: Thank you sir.
SWINDLER: You okay Maggie?
MAGGIE: Yes. Thanks.
LISA: Well we'd better go; Mom and Dad are waiting for us. <To BART and MAGGIE> You go on ahead, I'll catch up.
MAGGIE: Okay, Lis.
BART and MAGGIE leave
LISA: Here is the codec back.
SWINDLER: Thank you Lisa. I can see why you didn't want to hand it back with Maggie around.
LISA: Well, until next time we meet. See you around Mike.
SWINDLER: Goodbye Lisa.
LISA <NARRATES>: We never did see Mr. Swindler much after Maggie enrolled back into School. As the years passed on, everything reverted back to the way it used to, Maggie had spiked her hair again, and she started going back to blue clothes and such again, which helped. It got even worse shortly after we graduated from High-School, I was going to go off to Yale, Bart got a job at a near by construction yard, and Maggie was going to work as an assistant manager for Mr. Swindler. But a single week after graduation when dad was fixing up the car.
HOMER is outside under the car fixing it, when all of a sudden his hand slips and cuts into the gas tank. The gas pours out and into Homer's mouth. He died instantly.
LISA <NARRATES>: Dad, swallowed a lot of gas, he died almost instantly. It was a bad day for the family. I had to cancel my course at Yale and go work for Mr. Swindler again, that thankfully he made me in charge of the finances. Both Maggie and I performed every now again. It took some getting used to. But we got by, and that wasn't even half of it. A week later, when we come home, we found something truly horrific.
LISA and MAGGIE are walking in the front door of the Simpson home, where in the living room they find MARGE lying dead on the floor with a bullet hole in her chest.
LISA <RUNNING UP TOWARDS MARGE>: Oh no! Mom! Mom! Say something Mom.
MARGE: ....
LISA <STARTING TO CRY>: Say something mom.
MARGE: ....
MAGGIE <CRYING>: C'mon mom. Say something.
LISA <CRYING>: We're too late Maggie. She's gone.
MAGGIE: Who ever did this is going to pay.
LISA <NARRATES>: I'd never seen Maggie so determined to do something. But she was close to Mom, closer than I was in a way. She followed all sorts of clues and managed to track it down to none other than Bart. Maggie had Bart arrested, he was sentenced to 12 Years imprisonment for murder. Since then, I've become the owner of a highly successful Jazz club called the Jazz Hole; Maggie went onto college and later became a lawyer working for a local law firm in Springfield.
MAGGIE is in her office going through some defence papers; her eye catches one of the papers
MAGGIE: Marge Simpson? I'd better go see Lisa.
LISA <NARRATES>: It had been a year since me and Maggie last saw each other, but we did keep in touch by phone.
MAGGIE picks up the phone and calls LISA at the Jazz Hole, LISA answers
LISA: Hello, Jazz Hole, Lisa Simpson speaking.
MAGGIE: Lisa, its me.
LISA: Maggie! How are you?
MAGGIE: I'm fine, listen, I've got something really important to show you, could I come over and speak to you?
LISA: Sure.
MAGGIE: Okay Lis. I'll be right there.
MAGGIE gets in her car and goes to the Jazz Hole, as she enters she speaks with the BARTENDER.
MAGGIE: Um, is Lisa Simpson around?
BARTENDER: Why?
MAGGIE: I'm her twin sister; I've got to speak with her urgently
BARTENDER: Phew. Well, Miss Simpson is in her office, its upstairs to the right
MAGGIE: Thanks.
MAGGIE approaches the door to LISA's office it reads "MISS. LISA SIMPSON - OWNER", MAGGIE knocks
LISA: Who is it?
MAGGIE: Lis, it's me.
LISA: Come on in Maggie.
MAGGIE walks into LISA's office; she has a quick look around.
MAGGIE: Sure got a good club here Lis.
LISA: Thanks Maggie, but what this thing you have to show me?
MAGGIE: Well, I've got to defend someone in a couple of weeks in a case
LISA: Yeah, so?
MAGGIE: The person I'm defending is Marge Simpson
LISA: What? That's Mom's name. Are you sure?
MAGGIE: Positive, I've even got the papers to prove it, though I shouldn't really show them to you, but take a look
MAGGIE hands LISA a bundle of papers, five minutes later
MAGGIE: What do you think?
LISA: It could be a trap. I suggest that you and "Marge" meet before the trial and come here
MAGGIE: Why here?
LISA: My staff will be able to defend you in case it is a trap to kill you or something
MAGGIE: Good point Lisa. Thanks
LISA: My pleasure Maggie, ooh. I've got to go perform. Fancy staying for little while?
MAGGIE: Gee, I'd love to, but I don't have any money on me.
LISA: Not to worry. You're my sister; you can have drinks on me tonight.
MAGGIE: Are you sure?
LISA: Of course, you are my sister you know, oh and if you want to get up and sing with me, you're more than welcome, I still have the music sheets from ten years ago.
MAGGIE: Really? I'd love to play Sisters are doing for themselves with you again.
LISA: Great. I'll give the music sheets to the band downstairs and let's get it on the road.
LISA and MAGGIE head downstairs, LISA hands the score sheets to the musicians
LISA: I would like to introduce a guest singer with me tonight; she's my twin sister Maggie. And tonight we're going to perform as song we both wrote just over ten years ago. Called Sister's are doing it for themselves.
Music starts, Sisters are doing it for themselves.
LISA: I'm so excited, this is great!
Now there was a time
When we used to say
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman
MAGGIE: But oh, times have changed
You know it's no longer true
We're coming out of the kitchen
Because there's something we've forgot to say to you
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Oh yeah!
MAGGIE: Standing on their own two feet and ringin on their own bells
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Now this is a song
To celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
MAGGIE: Mama and her daughter
And all of their daughters too
LISA & MAGGIE: Woman to woman
MAGGIE: We're all singing along with you
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: Standing on their own two feet and ringin on their own bells
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
MAGGIE: And we ain't makin stories
No we ain't layin' plans
A man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man, yeah
LISA: This is incredible female power
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA: the inferior sex, has gone into exterior
MAGGIE: We got doctors, lawyers, and politicians too, yeah
Hey now everybody, take a look around
LISA & MAGGIE: Can ya see, can ya see, can ya see
MAGGIE: There's a woman standing right next to you
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Standin on their own two feet and ringin' on their own bells
LISA: Aunt Patty, aunt Selma, come sing! If only they were still here.
LISA & MAGGIE: Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Standin on their own two feet and ringin' on their own bells
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin' it for themselves
LISA and MAGGIE get off stage.
LISA: Well Maggie, it was great singing with you again.
MAGGIE: Yeah. Same. Well, I'd better go, arrange to meet this Marge of ours.
LISA: Yeah. See you later Maggie.
LISA <NARRATES>: Maggie did arrange a time to meet with Marge at the club, the following day at noon. Little did we know that this Marge Simpson really was Mom.
MAGGIE: Mom?! Is that you?
MARGE: Yes, honey, it's me
LISA: B- B- B- But we thought you died.
MARGE: No.
MAGGIE: So where have you been for the past nine years?
MARGE: I've been in hiding.
MAGGIE: But why?
MARGE: Ever since your father died, I've been in a lot of financial trouble; I didn't want to ask you girls for the money so Bart and I set up a ruse to fake my death.
MAGGIE: But mom, you knew that we'd be able to support you, we always have done.
MARGE: I don't want to keep counting on you girls for money. You've sacrificed so much for family, and I didn't want you to sacrifice anymore. But as I can see, you've both become very successful.
MAGGIE: But mom, this case, is it true?
MARGE: No. There's nothing to worry about. I'm not being sued or anything.
LISA: That's a relief
MARGE: But anyway, we have to get Bart out of jail
MAGGIE: I totally forgot about him.
LISA: Me too.
MARGE: Why don't we go see him then?
MAGGIE: Sounds good to me.
MARGE, LISA and MAGGIE go to Springfield Maximum Security Prison. MAGGIE speaks to BART
BART: Maggie! What are you doing here?
MAGGIE: We're trying to get you out of here
BART: Really how?
MAGGIE: Parole. I will be your lawyer.
BART: But you're no lawyer
MAGGIE: Oh yeah, this piece of paper says different.
MAGGIE shows him her lawyer's degree.
BART: Okay, Maggie that's great. Thanks.
MAGGIE: No problem Bart. The thing is today. You will be called to the parole room, that's where me, Mom and Lisa will be waiting.
BART: Okay, Thanks Maggie.
BART is led away by GUARDs
LISA <NARRATES>: Maggie did get Bart out; I gave him a bartending job at the Jazz Hole. We were all re-united again except for dad. Maggie continued to work as a lawyer, and mom moved in with Maggie, just last week, the two were visiting a local Krusty Burger when two men in front of them got into an argument; one of them pulled a knife. She was stabbed in the throat. She died almost instantly.
We cut to LISA in her office, just then her daughter walks in with her friend
LAURA: Mom, can we go now?
LISA: Are you ready?
LAURA: We've been ready for over an hour.
LAURA'S FRIEND: Your moms weird.
LAURA: Yeah, she's like that she's writing something.
They leave. LISA smiles. She start's typing up "Though we hadn't spoken for more than a year, I know I will miss her forever. She was a great sister, and I couldn't have asked for a better sister than her Jesus, would anyone?"
THE END
