The Ziff Who Came To Dinner
Production Code
Episode Number
14 March 2004
Deb Lacusta
Dan Castellaneta
Nancy Kruse
Executive Producer
Al Jean
Jimmy Heenan
Plot Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a movie and he has to bring the Flanders family children with him, because Ned has taken the senior citizens for ice cream to celebrate the birthday of Jasper. However, at the theatre, every kid-friendly movie is sold out, and after listening to Lenny mention he had a small part in the horror movie The Redeadening (a Village of the Damned and The Others parody) as a gardener, Homer takes the kids to see the movie. The movie is very scary, causing it to scare Bart and Lisa at home, who think they hear noises from the attic. But when they look in the attic to see it, their fears scare them away. When Bart and Lisa arrange to have Homer and Marge look in the attic, they discover Artie Ziff living there.

Artie Ziff explains that he was living in the attic because he ran an unsuccessful Internet business, Ziffcorp (an Enron parody), and lost all his money after spending it on many extravagant items. He said he came to the family house because he thought Marge was the closest thing to him. Artie says he wants to stay in the Simpson house until he gets back on his feet, as long as he promises to be on his best behavior. Artie arranges to stay in the Simpson house and his first activity there is to read to Lisa from The Corrections. After Marge watches the news and hears that the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is looking for Artie Ziff and after Artie tried to commit suicide, Homer takes him to Moe's Tavern. Artie was playing poker with Homer and his friends, Homer wins 98% of his company's outstanding stock. The SEC sweeps in to arrest Ziff, but Homer says he owns 230 million shares of Ziffcorp, making him the majority stockholder. To protect himself, he also blames Homer. Homer is taken into SEC custody, and placed on trial.

When Homer is on trial, Marge blames Artie for Homer being likely to go to prison. She also suggests that no one likes Artie for one reason: he only thinks of himself (this also proven by a short can-can that Artie had imagined, with all the people Artie). Homer is eventually found guilty and sentenced to twenty years in prison. Visiting Moe's Tavern, Artie encounters Patty and Selma, and Selma comes to take Artie to her apartment after he mentions putting Homer in prison. As they spend the night together, Artie makes a plan to turn over his corporate books in order to admit he is the real crook. Ziff turns himself in, and Homer is released from prison. The family takes one last look at their "Uncle Artie", who uses a squirt bottle to put out the prisoners' cigarettes, much to their anger.
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