The War of the Simpsons - v3 - Pretending to Cry

Bart gets into trouble a lot and as punishment he has to write lines on the blackboard, mostly in the opening, here's a list of his punishments.

I WILL NOT YELL "FIRE" IN A CROWDED CLASSROOM
7G01 - Some Encanted Evening

I WILL NOT WASTE CHALK
7G02 - Bart the Genius

I WILL NOT SKATEBOARD IN THE HALLS
7G03 - Homer's Odysee

I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS
7G04 - There's No Disgrace Like Home

I WILL NOT INSTIGATE REVOLUTION
7G06 - Moaning Lisa

I DID NOT SEE ELVIS
7G07 - The Tell Tale Head

I WILL NOT DRAW NAKED LADIES IN CLASS
7G09 - Call of the Simpsons

I WILL NOT CALL MY TEACHER "HOT CAKES"
7G10 - Homer's Night Out

GARLIC GUM IS NOT FUNNY
7G13 - The Crepes of Wrath

I WILL NOT XEROX MY BUTT
7F01 - Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish

TAR IS NOT A PLAYTHING
7F02 - Simpson and Delilah

I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FLY
7F03 - Bart Gets an F

I WILL NOT FAKE MY WAY THROUGH LIFE
Mrs. Krabappel punished Bart to write lines on the Blackboard after a terrible book report he attempted to make without even reading the book.
7F03 - Bart Gets an F

I WILL NOT TRADE PANTS WITH OTHERS
7F05 - Dancin' Homer

I WILL NOT DRIVE THE PRINCIPAL'S CAR
7F06 - Bart the Daredevil

I WILL NOT DO THAT THING WITH MY TONGUE
7F07 - Bart vs. Thanksgiving

I AM NOT A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN
This is a reference to Nancy Cartwright who voices Bart.
7F08 - Dead Putting Society

I WILL NOT PLEDGE ALLEGAINCE TO BART
7F09 - Itchy and Scratchy and Marge

I WILL NOT SELL SCHOOL PROPERTY
7F10 - Bart Gets Hit by a Car
7F14 - Bart's Dog Gets an F

I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS
After a couple of lines, Bart starts to use ditto marks.
7F11 - One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

I WILL NOT GET VERY FAR WITH THIS ATTITUDE
7F12 - The Way We Was

I WILL NOT MAKE FLATULENT NOISES IN CLASS
7F13 - Homer vs. Lisa and the Eighth Commandment

I WILL NOT BELCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
7F15 - Principal Charming

I WILL NOT SELL LAND IN FLORIDA
7F16 - Oh Brother, Where art thou?

I WILL NOT GREASE THE MONKEY BARS
7F17 - Old Money

I WILL NOT HIDE BEHIND THE FIFTH AMMENDMENT
7F18 - Brush With Greatness

I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING BAD EVER AGAIN
7F20 - The War of the Simpsons

I WILL NOT SHOW OFF
Written in fancy Gothic type handwritting.
7F21 - Three Men and a Comic Book

I WILL NOT SLEEP THROUGH MY EDUCATION
7F22 - Blood Feud

NOBODY LIKES SUNBURN SLAPPERS
7F23 - When Flanders Failed

I AM NOT A DENTIST
7F24 - Stark Raving Dad

SPITWADS ARE NOT FREE SPEECH
8F01 - Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington

HIGH EXPLOSIVES AND SCHOOL DONT MIX
8F03 - Bart the Murderer

I WILL NOT BRIBE PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Principal Skinner punished Bart for attempting to bribe him, this causing Bart to be late for work at the Legitemate Businessmans Social Club.
8F03 - Bart the Murderer

I WILL NOT SQUEAK CHALK
Along with the sound of squeaking chalk
8F04 - Homer Defined

I WILL FINISH WHAT I STA---
There is only one line on the blackboard and even that isnt complete.
8F05 - Like Father, Like Clown

"BART BUCKS" ARE NOT LEGAL TENDER
8F06 - Lisa's Pony

I WILL NOT FAKE RABIES
8F07 - Saturdays of Thunder

UNDERWEAR SHOULD BE WORN ON THE INSIDE
8F08 - Flaming Moes

THE CHRISTMAS PADGEANT DOES NOT STINK
8F09 - Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk

I WILL NOT TORNMENT THE EMOTIONALLY FRAIL
8F10 - I Married Marge

I WILL NOT CARVE GODS
8F11 - Radio Bart

I WILL NOT AIM FOR THE HEAD
8F13 - Homer at the Bat

I WILL NOT SPANK OTHERS
8F14 - Homer Alone

I WILL NOT BARF UNLESS I'M SICK
8F15 - Separate Vocations

I WILL NOT EXPOSE THE IGNORANCE OF THE FACULTY
When Lisa steals the Teacher Edition textbooks, Bart discovers this and takes the rap for Lisa. Bart is forced to write lines on the blackboard for 600 days. Lisa plays the sax outside while Bart serves her detention.
8F15 - Separate Vocations

I SAW NOTHING UNUSUAL IN THE TEACHERS LOUNGE
8F17 - Dog of Death

MY NAME IS NOT "DR. DEATH"
8F18 - A Streetcar Named Marge

I WILL NOT CONDUCT MY OWN FIRE DRILLS
8F19 - Colonel Homer

FUNNY NOISES ARE NOT FUNNY
8F20 - Black Widower

I WILL NOT SPIN THE TURTLE
8F21 - The Otto Show

I WILL NOT SNAP BRAS
8F22 - Bart's Friend Falls in Love

I WILL NOT FAKE SEIZURES
8F23 - Brother, Can you Spare me Two dimes?

THIS PUNISHMENT IS NOT BORING AND POINTLESS
8F24 - Kamp Krusty

I WILL NOT DEFAME NEW ORLEANS
This is because of the Streetcar song badmouthing New Orleans in the previous episode.
9F01 - Homer the Heretic

I WILL NOT PRESCRIBE MEDICATION
9F02 - Lisa the Beauty Queen

I WILL NOT BURY THE NEW KID
9F03 - Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie

I WILL TRY TO RAISE A BETTER CHILD
For some reason Mrs. Krabappel makes Marge write lines on the black board over Bart's Misbehaviour. Marge comments on how her doing the lines helps Bart.
9F03 - Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie

I WILL NOT TEACH OTHERS TO FLY
9F05 - Marge gets a Job

I WILL NOT BRING SHEEP TO CLASS
9F06 - New Kid on the Block

A BURP IS NOT AN ANSWER
9F07 - Mr. Plow

TEACHER IS NOT A LEPER
9F08 - Lisa's First Word

I WILL NOT DRINK COFFEE
As the lines go on, they become more and more illegible.
9F09 - Homer's Triple Bypass

I WILL NOT EAT THINGS FOR MONEY
9F10 - Marge vs. The Monorail

I WILL NOT YELL "SHE'S DEAD" DURING ROLL CALL
9F11 - Selma's Choice

THE PRINCIPAL'S TOUPE IS NOT A FRISBEE
9F12 - Brother from the Same Planet

I WILL NOT CALL THE PRINCIPAL "SPUD HEAD"
9F13 - I Love Lisa

GOLDFISH DONT BOUNCE
9F14 - Duffless

MUD IS NOT ONE OF THE 4 FOOD GROUPS
9F15 - Last Exit to Springfield

I WILL NOT SELL MIRACLE CURES
9F16 - The Front

NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MY UNDERPANTS
9F17 - So it's Come Down to this: A Simpsons Clip Show
1F17 - Lisa's Rival
In the latter episode, the text is all on one line rather than two.

I WILL RETURN THE SEEING-EYE DOG
9F18 - Whacking Day

I WILL NOT CHARGE ADMISION FOR THE BATHROOM
9F19 - Krusty Gets Kancelled

I DO NOT HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY
9F20 - Marge in Chains
AABF12 - Make Room for Lisa

I WILL NEVER WIN AN EMMY
The Simpsons had just lost an Emmy to Claymation Easter.
9F21 - Homer's Barbershop Quartet

THE CAFETARIA DEEP FRYER IS NOT A TOY
9F22 - Cape Feare

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES BART A DULL BOY
Lines get increasingly indented.
1F07 - The Last Temptation of Homer

I WILL NOT SAY "SPRINGFIELD" JUST TO GET ATTENTION
1F08 - $pringfield (or how I learned to stop worrying and love legalised Gambling)

I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO FIRE SUBSITUTE TEACHERS
1F09 - Homer the Vigilante

I WILL NOT GO NEAR THE KINTERGARTEN TURTLE
1F10 - Homer and Apu

MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY THE ONE-ARMED MAN
1F11 - Bart Gets Famous
2F07 - Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequcy

I AM NOT DELIGHTFULLY SAUCY
1F14 - Homer Loves Flanders

ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE BEST LEFT TO THE PROFESSIONALS
1F15 - Bart Gets an Elephant

THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOES NOT END WITH "HAIL SATAN"
1F16 - Burns' Heir

I WILL NOT CELEBRATE MEANINGLESS MILESTONES
This was the 100th Episode
1F18 - Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song

THERE ARE PLENTY OF BUSINESSES LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
1F19 - The Boy Who Knew Too Much

FIVE DAYS IS NOT TOO LONG TO WAIT FOR A GUN
1F20 - Secrets of a Successful Marriage

I WILL NOT RE-TRANSMIT WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
1F21 - Lady Bouvier's Lover

BEANS ARE NEITHER FRUIT NOR MUSICAL
1F22 - Bart of Darkness

I AM NOT THE REINCARNATION OF SAMMY DAVIS JR
2F01 - Itchy and Scratchy Land

I WILL NOT SEND LARD THROUGH THE MAIL
2F04 - Bart's Girlfriend

I WILL NOT DISSECT THINGS UNLESS INSTRUCTED
2F05 - Lisa on Ice

I WILL NOT WHITTLE HALL PASSES OUT OF SOAP
2F06 - Homer Badman

RALPH WONT "MORPH" IF I SQUEEZE HIM HARD ENOUGH
2F08 - Fear of Flying

ADDING "JUST KIDDING" DOESNT MAKE IT OKAY TO INSULT THE PRINCIPAL
2F09 - Homer the Great

"BAGMAN" IS NOT A LEGITIMATE CAREER CHOICE
2F10 - And Maggie Makes Three

CURSIVE DOES NOT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES
2F11 - Bart's Comet

NEXT TIME IT COULD BE ME ON THE SCAFFHOLDING
2F12 - Homie the Clown

I WILL NOT HANG DONUTS ON MY PERSON
2F13 - Bart vs. Australia

I WILL REMEMBER TO TAKE MY MEDICATION
2F14 - Homer vs. Patty and Selma

I WILL NOT STRUT AROUND LIKE I OWN THE PLACE
2F15 - Lisa's Wedding

THIS IS NOT A CLUE ... OR IS IT?
This is a reference to the contest that would be running after the episode aired.
2F16 - Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)

"BEWITCHED" DOES NOT PROMOT SATANISM
2F17 - Radioactive Man

THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
2F18 - Two Dozen and One Greyhounds

I DO NOT HAVE THE POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER FIRST GRADERS
2F19 - The PTA Disbands

I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SOLUTION WHEN I HEAR IT
This is a reference about the conclusion of Who Shot Mr. Burns.
2F20 - Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)

I WILL NOT MOCK MRS. DUMBFACE
2F21 - The Springfield Connection

THE FIRST AMENDMENT DOES NOT COVER BURPING
2F22 - The Lemon of Troy

NERVE GAS IS NOT A TOY
2F32 - 'Round Springfield

I WILL NOT USE ABBREV.
Quite obviously, Bart has abbreviated on Abbreviations.
2F33 - Another Simpsons Clip Show

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR FROM MY ARMPITS
3F01 - Home Sweet Diddily Dum Doodily
AABF18 - They Saved Lisa's Brain

I AM NOT A LEAN MEAN SPITTING MACHINE
3F02 - Bart Sells His Soul

THE BOYS ROOM IS NOT A WATER PARK
3F03 - Lisa the Vegetarian

INDIAN BURNS ARE NOT OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE
3F05 - King Size Homer

I WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT THE TWELVE INCH PIANIST
3F07 - Marge Be Not Proud

WEDGIES ARE UNHEALTHY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS
3F08 - Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming

I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO REMOVE ASBESTOS
3F10 - Team Homer

I DID NOT LEARN EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW IN KINDERGARTEN
3F23 - You Only Move Twice

I WILL ONLY DO THIS ONCE A YEAR
3F31 - The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

THE TRUTH IS NOT OUT THERE
Referencing the episodes content about aliens
3G01 - The Springfield Files

I NO LONGER WANT MY MTV
3G02 - Lisa's Sax

I WILL NOT HIDE THE TEACHERS PROZAC
3G03 - SimpsonCalaFristicExpiala<Annoyed Grunt>Cious

MY BUTT DOES NOT DESERVE A WEBSITE
3G04 - Simpson Tide

I WILL NOT BE A SNICKERPUSS
While watching Nelson torment Groundskeeper Willie, Lisa accidentally laughs. Mr. Largo makes Lisa write lines on several blackboards, Nelson advises her to use the deal with the five chalks to get done five times as fast.
4F01 - Lisa's Date With Density

I AM NOT MY OWN LONG LOST TWIN
4F03 - The Homer They Fall

I AM NOT LICENSED TO DO ANYTHING
4F08 - The Twisted World of Marge Simpson

A FIRE DRILL DOES NOT DEMAND A FIRE
4F16 - The Canine Mutiny

EVERYONE IS TIRED OF THAT RICHARD GERE STORY
5F01 - The Cartridge Family

I DID NOT INVENT IRISH DANCING
5F03 - Bart Star

I WILL NOT TEASE FATTY
5F05 - Lisa the Skeptic

THERE WAS NOT A ROMAN GOD NAMED "FARTICUS"
5F06 - Realty Bites

RUDOLPH'S NOSE IS NOT ALCOHOL RELATED
5F07 - Miracle on Evergreen Terrace

I WILL NOT MESS WITH THE OPENING CREDITS
Placed where the Couch Gag normally is. Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie run in to find Bart writing lines.
5F09 - Trash of the Titans

PAIN IS NOT THE CLEANSER
5F10 - The Last Temptation of Krust

SILLY STRING IS NOT A NASAL SPRAY
5F12 - Dumbbell Idenmity

I WAS NOT TOLD TO DO THIS
5F13 - This Little Wiggy

I WILL NOT DEMAND WHAT I'M WORTH
5F14 - The Trouble With Trillions

I AM NOT THE NEW DALAI LAMA
5F17 - Lost Our Lisa

I WAS NOT THE INSPIRATION FOR "KRAMER"
5F18 - Natural Born Kissers

BUTT.BUTT IS NOT MY E-MAIL ADDRESS
5F19 - When You Dish Upon A Star

I WILL NOT FILE FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS
5F21 - The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace

SHOOTING PAINTBALLS IS NOT AN ART FORM
5F23 - The Joy of Sect

THE SIMPSONS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL IX
Bart paints it on the board with red paint or blood.
AABF01 - Treehouse of Horror IX

NO ONE CARES WHAT MY DEFINITION OF "IS" IS
AABF02 - D'oh'in in the Wind

I WILL NOT SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM
AABF03 - Lisa Gets an "A"

I AM NOT A LICENSED HAIRSTYLIST
AABF04 - Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"

"THE PRESIDENT DID IT" IS NOT AN EXCUSE
AABF05 - Mayoured to the Mob

MY MOM IS NOT DATING JERRY SEINFELD
AABF06 - Viva Ned Flanders

SHERRI DOES NOT "GOT BACK"
AABF07 - Wild Bart's Cant Be Broken

I WILL NOT DO THE DIRTY BIRD
AABF08 - Sunday Cruddy Sunday

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY SCIATICA
AABF09 - Homer to the Max

GRAMMAR IS NOT A TIME OF WASTE
AABF10 - Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"

HILLBILLIES ARE PEOPLE TOO
AABF11 - I'm With Cupid

IT DOES NOT SUCK TO BE YOU
AABF13 - Maximum Homerdrive

I CAN NOT ABSOLVE SINS
AABF14 - Simpsons Bible Stories

D+

I WILL NOT DEFACE
When Bart is caught defacing the Pharohs (Principal Skinner) tomb, he is told to write (well, actually, chisel) lines on a blackboard. Chippings can be seen on the floor.
AABF14 - Simpsons Bible Stories

A TRAINED CHIMP COULD NOT TEACH GYM
AABF15 - Mom and Pop Art

LOOSE TEETH DONT NEED MY HELP
AABF16 - Old Man and the "C" Student

I HAVE NEITHER BEEN THERE NOR DONE THAT
AABF17 - Monty Cant Buy Me Love

I DID NOT WIN THE NOBEL FART PRIZE
AABF19 - E-I-E-I-<Annoyed Grunt>

I'M SO VERY TIRED
AABF20 - 30 Minutes Over Tokyo

I AM NOT THE LAST DON
AABF21 - Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner

PORK IS NOT A VERB
AABF22 - Brother's Little Helper

FRIDAYS ARE NOT "PANTS OPTIONAL"
AABF23 - Beyong Blunderdome

I WON'T NOT USE NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES
BABF02 - Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder

INDIAN BURNS ARE NOT OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE
BABF03 - Eight Misbehavin'

I WILL NOT CREATE ART FROM DUNG
BABF04 - Little Big Mom

I CAN'T SEE DEAD PEOPLE
BABF05 - Take My Wife, Sleaze

I WILL STOP PHONING IT IN
BABF06 - Faith Off

I WILL NOT SELL MY KIDNEY ON eBay
BABF07 - Grift of the Magi

I WILL NOT DO MATH IN CLASS
After Lisa is caught doing Maths in class, she is told to write lines on the chalkboard. Bart walks in and finds it ironic that it's Lisa in trouble and not him. Lisa eventually finds the truth behind what's going on with the school.
BABF07 - Grift of the Magi

CLASS CLOWN IS NOT A PAID POSITION
BABF08 - The Mansion Family

SUBSTITUE TEACHERS ARE NOT SCABS
BABF09 - Saddlesore Galactica

MY SUSPENSION WAS NOT "MUTUAL"
BABF10 - Alone Again, Natura-Diddily

A BELCH IS NOT AN ORAL REPORT
BABF11 - Missionary Impossible

DODGEBALL STOPS AT THE GYM DOOR
BABF12 - Pygmoelian

"NON-FLAMMABLE" IS NOT A CHALLENGE
BABF13 - Bart to the Future

I WAS NOT TOUCHED "THERE" BY AN ANGEL
BABF14 - Days of Wine and D'oh'ses

I WILL NOT DANCE ON ANYONE'S GRAVE
BABF15 - Last Tap Dance in Springfield

I AM NOT HERE ON A FARTBALL SCHOLARSHIP
BABF16 - Kill the Alligator and Run

I WILL NOT SURPRISE THE INCONTINENT
BABF17 - Insane Clown Poppy

I CANNOT HIRE A SUBSTITUTE STUDENT
BABF18 - It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge

I WILL NOT OBEY THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
BABF19 - Behind the Laughter

I WILL NOT PLANT SUBLIMINAL MESSAGORES
BABF20 - A Tale of Two Springfields

NETWORK TV IS NOT DEAD
BABF22 - HOMЯ

I AM NOT THE ACTING PRESIDENT
CABF01 - Lisa the Treehugger

I WILL ONLY PROVIDE A URINE SAMPLE WHEN ASKED
CABF02 - The Computer Wore Menace Shoes

THE NURSE IS NOT DEALING
CABF03 - The Great Money Caper

I WAS NOT THE SIXTH BEATLE
CABF04 - Homer vs. Dignity

I WILL NOT "LET THE DOGS OUT"
CABF05 - Pokey Mom

SCIENCE CLASS SHOULD NOT END IN TRAGEDY
CABF06 - Skinner's Sense of Snow

I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS
After Principal Skinner is overpowered Bart makes HIM write lines on the chalkboard. Principal Skinner complains that he's getting a cramp in his wrist, but Bart having done it hundreds of times before, states that is wrist sounds like a cement mixer.
CABF06 - Skinner's Sense of Snow

I WILL NOT PUBLISH THE PRINCIPALS CREDIT REPORT
CABF07 - Tennis the Menace

I WILL NOT HIDE THE TEACHER'S MEDICATION
CABF07 - Worst Episode Ever

"TEMPTATION ISLAND" WAS NOT A SLEAZY PIECE OF CRAP
CABF09 - Hungry, Hungry, Homer

THE HAMSTER DID NOT HAVE "A FULL LIFE"
CABF10 - Day of the Jackanapes

I WILL NOT SCARE THE VICE PRESIDENT
CABF11 - Bye, Bye Nerdie

I WILL NOT BUY A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON
CABF12 - New Kids on the Blecch

I WILL NOT FLUSH EVIDENCE
CABF13 - Simpson Safari

FIRE IS NOT THE CLEANSER
CABF14 - Trilogy of Error

GENETICS IS NOT AN EXCUSE
CABF15 - I'm Goin' to Priaseland

TODAY IS NOT MOTHRA'S DAY
CABF16 - Children of a Lesser Clod

I SHOULD NOT BE TWENTY-ONE BY NOW
CABF17 - Simpsons Tall Tales

FUN DOES NOT HAVE A SIZE
CABF18 - A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love

A BURP IN A JAR IS NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT
CABF20 - Homer the Moe

I AM NOT CHARLIE BROWN ON ACID
CABF21 - The Blunder Years

NOBODY READS THESE ANYMORE
CABF22 - The Parent Rap

I DO NOT HAVE A CEREAL NAMED AFTER ME
DABF02 - She of Little Faith

I WIL NOT BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME BUTTERFINGERS
DABF04 - Half Decent Proposal

THE GIVING TREE IS NOT A CHUMP
DABF06 - The Bart Wants What It Wants

MAKING MILHOUSE CRY IS NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT
DABF07 - The Lasted Gun in the West

VAMPIRE IS NOT A CAREER CHOICE
DABF08 - Tales From the Public Domain

FISH DO NOT LIKE COFFEE
DABF20 - Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade

MLILHOUSE DID NOT TEST COOTIE POSITIVE
DABF21 - Helter Shelter

THISE SCHOOL DOESN'T NEED A "REGIME CHANGE"
EABF04 - Strong Arms of the Ma

I WILL NOT
Bart then chops the blackboard up with an axe.
EABF05 - Barting Over

SPONGEBOB IS NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE
EABF06 - Pray Anything

MY PEN IS NOT A BOOGER LAUNCHER
EABF14 - Old Yeller Belly

SANDWICHES SHOULD NOT CONTAIN SAND
EABF16 - The Bart of War

OVER FOURTY & SINGLE IS NOT FUNNY
FABF01 - Today I'm a Clown

I WILL NOT SPECULATE HOW HOT THE TEACHER USED TO BE
FABF08 - The Ziff Who Came to Dinner

POKING A DEAD RACOON IS NOT RESEARCH
FABF22 - She Used to be My Girl

BEER IN A MILK CARTON IS NOT MILK
GABF05 - On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister

A BOOGER IS NOT A BOOKMARK
GABF15 - Home Away from Homer

DOES ANY KID STILL DO THIS ANYMORE
GABF18 - Bonfire of the Manatee's

I AM NOT SMARTER THAN THE PRESIDENT
HABF03 - Homer's Paternity Coot

THE TEACHER WAS NOT DUMPED -- IT WAS MUTUAL
HABF04 - We're on the Road to D'ohwere

I WILL NOT EAT THINGS FOR MONEY
The Gag, along with the entire intro sequence is live action
HABF08 - Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife

I WILL NOT FLIP THE CLASSROOM UPSIDE DOWN
Naturally, the room and Bart are upside down
HABF09 - Million Dollar Abie

I WILL NOT LEAK THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE
HABF13 - Regarding Margie

JE NE PARLE PAS FRANÇAIS
HABF14 - The Monkey Suit
MABF14 - The Squirt and the Whale

HAVE A NICE SUMMER EVERYONE
HABF16 - Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play

A BABY BEAT ME UP
HABF20 - Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'em

WE ARE NOT NAKED UNDER OUR CLOTHES
HABF21 - G. I. <Annoyed Grunt>

FRANKINSENSE IS NOT A MONSTER
JABF01 - Kill Gil (Volumes One and Two)

SO LONG SUCKERS
JABF04 - Little Big Girl

GLOBAL WARMING DID NOT EAT MY HOMEWORK
JABF06 - Homerazzi

PEARLS ARE NOT OYSTER BARF
JABF12 - Stop or My Dog Will Shoot

I WILL NOT LOOK UP WHAT TEACHER MAKES
JABF13 - Crook and Ladder

THE PILGRIMS WERE NOT ILLEGAL ALIENS
JABF17 - Husbands and Knives

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS BETTER THAN EVER
JABF18 - Hover of Seville

I AM NOT AN FDIC INSURED BANK
JABF19 - I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

I WILL NOT WAIT 20 YEARS TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE
JABF20 - He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS iPODDY
JABF22 - Little Orphan Millie

THE CAPITAL OF MONTANA IS NOT "HANNAH"
KABF02 - Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind

TEACHER DID NOT PAY TOO MUCH FOR HER CONDO
KABF03 - E. Pluribus Wiggum

THE ART TEACHER IS FAT, NOT PREGNANT
KABF06 - The Debarted

A PERSON'S A PERSON NO MATTER HOW RALPH
KABF10 - Apocalypse Cow

THIS PUNISHMENT IS NOT MEDIEVAL
KABF12 - Mona Leaves-a

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "ROCTOBER"
KABF14 - Double, Double, Boy in Trouble

TEACHER'S DIET IS WORKING
KABF15 - Lost Verizon

I DID NOT SEE TEACHER SIPHONING GAS
KABF18 - Dangerous Curves

PROPSERITY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
KABF20 - Mypods and Boomsticks

JESUS IS NOT MAD HIS BIRTHDAY IS ON CHRISTMAS
KABF21 - The Burns and the Bees

I WILL NOT USE PERMENANT INK ON THE CHALKBOARD
KABF22 - Lisa the Drama Queen

HDTV IS WORTH EVERY CENT
LABF01 - Take My Life Please

"MARCH MADNESS" IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MISSING SCHOOL
LABF02 - How the Test Was Won

I WILL NOT HAVE FUN WITH EDUCATIONAL TOYS
LABF03 - No Loan Again, Naturally

MY PIGGY BANK IS NOT ENTITLED TO TARP FUNDS
LABF05 - Wedding for Disaster

I WILL NOT MAKE FUN OF TEACHERS OUTDATED CELLPHONE
LABF07 - The Good, The Sad and the Drugly

I WILL NOT PUT HOT SAUCE IN THE CPR DUMMY
LABF08 - Father Knows Worst

FOUR LEAF CLOVERS ARE NOT MUTANT FREAKS
LABF11 - In the Name of the Grandfather

IT'S "FACEBOOK" NOT "ASSBOOK"
LABF12 - Coming to Homerica

THE CLASS HAMSTER ISN'T JUST SLEEPING
LABF13 - Homer the Whopper

CHALKBOARDING IS NOT TORTURE
LABF15 - Bart Gets a Z

I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO LONG DIVISION
LABF16 - The Great Wife Hope

I DO NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR MY MOM
LABF17 - The Devil Wears Nada

HALLOWEEN DOES NOT KICK THANKSGIVING'S ASS
LABF18 - Pranks and Greens

TEACHER'S UNIONS ARE NOT RUNNING THIS COUNTRY
LABF19 - Rednecks and Boomsticks

THE WORLD MAY END IN 2012, BUT THIS SHOW WONT
LABF20 - Once Upon a Time in Springfield

WORLD WAR II COULD NOT BEAT UP WORLD WAR I
MABF07 - Stealing First Base

HOT DOGS ARE NOT BOOKMARKS
MABF08 - American History X-Cellent

THIS COUNTS AS ART AND GYM CLASS
MABF09 - Chief of Hearts

BATMAN IS NOT "NOTHING" WITHOUT HIS UTIILITY BELT
MABF11 - The Bob Next Door

EATING MY VEGETABLES IS NOT A MOTHERS DAY PRESENT
MABF13 - Moe Letter Blues

THE END OF "LOST" WAS ALL THE DOGS DREAM. WATCH US.
MABF15 - Judge Me Tender

I DID NOT SEE THE TEACHER APPLYING FOR WELFARE
MABF17 - Loan-a Lisa

I MUST NOT WRITE ALL OVER THE WALLS
Naturally, Bart has written in chalk all over the walls
MABF18 - MoneyBART

CANDY CANES ARE NOT ELF BONES
MABF19 - Donnie Fatso

WHEN I FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS IT WAS NOT TO HELP LEO DICAPRIO
MABF21 - Elementary School Musical

"A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING" IS AS GOOD AS "A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS"
NABF02 - How Munched Is that Birdie in the Window?

JANUARY IS NOT BART HISTORY MONTH
NABF03 - Moms I'd Like to Forget

PRINCE IS NOT THE SON OF MARTIN LUTHER KING
NABF05 - Homer the Father

I WILL NOT MAKE FUN OF CUPID'S DINK
NABF06 - The Blue and The Grey

"DAYLIGHT SAVINGS" IS NOT A FAILED BANK
NABF09 - A Midsummers Nice Dream

I WILL NOT RIDICULE TEACHER'S FINAL FOUR BRACKET
NABF10 - Love is Many a Strangled Thing

I'M A GROWN MAN WHO IS AFRAID OF HIS OWN SON
NABF10 - Love is Many a Strangled Thing

I DO NOT DESERVE A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT FOR BEING ONE "BAD ASS MOTHER"
NABF13 - Homer Scissorhands

GUINEA PIGS SHOULD NOT BE USED AS "GUINEA PIGS"
NABF14 - 500 Keys

IT'S NOT TOO EARLY TO SPECULATE ABOUT THE 2016 ELECTION
NABF17 - Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts

CAFETERIA TRAYS ARE NOT TOBOGGANS
NABF18 - Holidays of Future Passed

IT'S NOVEMBER 6TH WHY AREN'T WE AIRING A HALLOWEEN SHOW?
NABF21 - Replaceable You

"CAUCUS" IS NOT A DIRTY WORD
PABF02 - The Ten Per-Cent Solution

TINTIN DID NOT SUCKSUCK
PABF03 - Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson

I WILL NOT ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD THIS MOVIE
The Simpsons Movie

Disclaimer: The Simpsons is a copyrighted trademark of 20th Century FOX. Any and all content on this site is not authorised by FOX. This site is owned and maintained by Gary M. Gadsdon